Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Objects in Space
Feelin pretty disillusioned and nihilistic right now...beginning to doubt whether it's possible for two people to genuinely connect to a degree beyond temptation and just be content with each other. Seen/been through too much emotional bullshit these last few weeks, plus thinking about some douchey PUA bullshit, invoking some pseudo science about how an exclusive relationship isn't "natural", and is pretty much a facade created by "beta males" to stop "alpha males" stealing their girls, as apparently is the "natural" order of things. Like unless you just fuck anything walking your way with a cunt you are inferior. The consensus is that relationships last until one party finds another partner more "genetically superior" than the current one, or just plainly get bored of each other. I'm pretty sure most parents I know exist in a state of toleration at best...the only exception being my own parents, who are pretty much the only ones who seem to have "made it work". about 60%-70% of my friends parents seem to have broke up anyway.
Seems that this generation, and maybe the one before have/have had too much social freedom and freedom of expression, and popular culture pressurizes everyone to be as promiscuous as possible, no matter what your age or marital status. It's cool to be the "player". The idea that a monogamous relationship means you are "tied down", and the amount of cynicism everyone seems to give marriage. Someone recently said to me that "a tattoo is a bigger commitment than marriage", I couldn't really think of a response.
Heard last night that my girl-with-boyfriend-who-I-thought-had-broke-up-with-boyfriend-but-now-apparently-hasn't got with a third guy on holiday in France last week, so I hastily and ham-fistedly tried to get with her best friend, resulting in crash and burn. Her friend was pretty cool with it though, I think she kind of sympathizes a bit, didn't sound too impressed with her friends recent actions. I think i just need stability right now, maybe I'm just fighting with the realization that I'm going retarded over the biggest nymph in town. Soon I'll be back in Manchester for the second year, and probably fucking as many sluts as I can to clear my head of this clusterfuck. Will that make me "alpha"? I get laid, I just can never hold down a relationship. Nomatter how alpha you are, theres always gonna be someone moreso, you're both just waiting for a better deal, like a broadband bundle. Writing my first acoustic singer/songwriter type song. Calling it "If you wern't a slut". Yeah, it sounds despirate, sexist and like teenage angst poetry, so fucking what. I'm self aware enough to save most things with the right degree of irony.
Sorry for the chud, promise next post will be about something funny like man crushes or blowjobs or spoofing metal. Piece.