Exams are over, so I guess I should go get crunk or something...
Showing posts with label Students. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Students. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
Chick Tats
So recently, at every party I go to, some painfully mainstream girl comes up to me having noticed my tats, gleefully shows me her butterfly/flower/something ghey, and instigates some kina conversation where she will say the following, in no particular order:
1. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would
2. I want to get another, they're like, sooooo addictive
3. I think it's really important that it's something that like, "means something", ya know?
And then, she explains in painfully forced detail that hers is about either:
1. Her ability to overcome all challenges
2. Family/Friendship
3. Believing in yourself/not giving up
4. Her dead dog/sibling/parent/friend
going on in excrutiating detail about said meaning, and explaining the pure bullshit behind such a generic ghey image. Then she asks me about what mine "mean" with wide expectant eyes, at which point I normally chuckle, shrug, and say, "uhh, well I got that one in Finland once this time when I was drunk at this party from some other drunk guy with a needle and some ink, that one was just something my brother drew, thats a band I like, thats a charactor from a video game I thought was cool.......etc)
Now she looks taken aback, and will say something along the lines of "but what if you don't like "video games/those bands/the Finnish when you're older". And I'm like, "whevs, I probably will. In the unlikely event I change massively I'll have a reminder of how awesome I used to be". Then she'll try and agree with me, and say it's cos I'm "care free" or some bullshit, cos she dosen't want to look square.
TBH I prefer the people that come straight for the jugular with "lol, u'll regret ur piercings and tats! Enjoy not getting a job lolololol!!!" than the slimey, "look, I'm just like you, let me lecture you on meaning".
Look, I don't mind you having meaning, just don't think I care, and don't fucking try and force a meaning if you want ink but are scared of saying "I just wanted it" or "thought it looked cool" when people ask. That would at least make you look like less of a pretantious prude when you do.
Firstly, you're limiting what you're gonna get if you're so obsessed with meaning. It's kina hard to find a logical personal rational further than "looks sick" behind something as awesome as this:
But it's a great piece of artwork nevertheless, and has kind of transcended some shakey definition of "meaning". By limiting yourself to something with "meaning" you end up just getting something really vague, and normally very similar to every other annoying student chick with her first tat.
Secondly, your life just isn't that meaningful, at least not to the degree that would justify perminatly marking yourself. Don't try and pretend it is, and don't use this as a reason to justify getting something, especially when the real reason is you just wanted to try it. Don't be ashamed, just do it, and don't feel the need to coat it in bullshit in case someone calls you out on it later.
This isn't meant as some kind of "more alt than thou" snobbery, it's more just an annoyance at a habbit. Pretty sure more student girls do than don't have ink now, or at least a very significant proportion. Just wish they weren't all the same, or that they actually went past the one-generic-object phase.
1. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would
2. I want to get another, they're like, sooooo addictive
3. I think it's really important that it's something that like, "means something", ya know?
And then, she explains in painfully forced detail that hers is about either:
1. Her ability to overcome all challenges
2. Family/Friendship
3. Believing in yourself/not giving up
4. Her dead dog/sibling/parent/friend
going on in excrutiating detail about said meaning, and explaining the pure bullshit behind such a generic ghey image. Then she asks me about what mine "mean" with wide expectant eyes, at which point I normally chuckle, shrug, and say, "uhh, well I got that one in Finland once this time when I was drunk at this party from some other drunk guy with a needle and some ink, that one was just something my brother drew, thats a band I like, thats a charactor from a video game I thought was cool.......etc)
Now she looks taken aback, and will say something along the lines of "but what if you don't like "video games/those bands/the Finnish when you're older". And I'm like, "whevs, I probably will. In the unlikely event I change massively I'll have a reminder of how awesome I used to be". Then she'll try and agree with me, and say it's cos I'm "care free" or some bullshit, cos she dosen't want to look square.
TBH I prefer the people that come straight for the jugular with "lol, u'll regret ur piercings and tats! Enjoy not getting a job lolololol!!!" than the slimey, "look, I'm just like you, let me lecture you on meaning".
Look, I don't mind you having meaning, just don't think I care, and don't fucking try and force a meaning if you want ink but are scared of saying "I just wanted it" or "thought it looked cool" when people ask. That would at least make you look like less of a pretantious prude when you do.
Firstly, you're limiting what you're gonna get if you're so obsessed with meaning. It's kina hard to find a logical personal rational further than "looks sick" behind something as awesome as this:
But it's a great piece of artwork nevertheless, and has kind of transcended some shakey definition of "meaning". By limiting yourself to something with "meaning" you end up just getting something really vague, and normally very similar to every other annoying student chick with her first tat.
Secondly, your life just isn't that meaningful, at least not to the degree that would justify perminatly marking yourself. Don't try and pretend it is, and don't use this as a reason to justify getting something, especially when the real reason is you just wanted to try it. Don't be ashamed, just do it, and don't feel the need to coat it in bullshit in case someone calls you out on it later.
This isn't meant as some kind of "more alt than thou" snobbery, it's more just an annoyance at a habbit. Pretty sure more student girls do than don't have ink now, or at least a very significant proportion. Just wish they weren't all the same, or that they actually went past the one-generic-object phase.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
New year, New approach
One of my Manchester student friends, recently, upon learning about my new skin hairway, posted the following on my facebook with a link to this tune by up-and-coming UK grime artist "Devlin":
"Now that you're bald, this wigger is like youu! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1L4iH89tjAM
When are you back in manc? x"
Had to admit I was rather taken aback by the condemnation of wiggerdom on some dude simply for being white and rapping. He seems like a reasonably down to earth kina bro, and beyond the odd hand gesture, nothing really to sound the wigger alarm on. And the style's pretty quintessentially British, the dude doesn't really seem to be under any pretenses. Plus he captures a really genuinely English feel, added to by the further Jam; "London City":
So I had to grant him "notawigger", and put down my friends claim down to poor education on what a wigger is, and general middle class snobbery at chavy grime artists. So I refuted her claim, and instead linked her to that infamous Winds of Plague video (I've already spammed the hell out of "Day of Mourning" over FB), reminding her whats up.
In a way metal wiggers are "purer" than rap wiggers, in that there is in general next to no black influence in the scene anyway, making it pretty much a complete anomaly no one saw comming. At least rap is heavily black anyway, so you can kina make allowances for white dudes acting "black".
When it comes to metal/slam wiggers, no one goes further than the critically acclaimed Newyorkment. If you need further reminding on the way things are, look no further than this educational video featuring the wigger slam visionaries, on why metal that isn't slam is totally ghey.
"Now that you're bald, this wigger is like youu! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1L4iH89tj
When are you back in manc? x"
I used to date a girl who lived in a place like this, pretty accurately conveys the vibe of, "fuck, I can feel my soul dying..."
Had to admit I was rather taken aback by the condemnation of wiggerdom on some dude simply for being white and rapping. He seems like a reasonably down to earth kina bro, and beyond the odd hand gesture, nothing really to sound the wigger alarm on. And the style's pretty quintessentially British, the dude doesn't really seem to be under any pretenses. Plus he captures a really genuinely English feel, added to by the further Jam; "London City":
"Blood, Sweat and Beers!"
So I had to grant him "notawigger", and put down my friends claim down to poor education on what a wigger is, and general middle class snobbery at chavy grime artists. So I refuted her claim, and instead linked her to that infamous Winds of Plague video (I've already spammed the hell out of "Day of Mourning" over FB), reminding her whats up.
In a way metal wiggers are "purer" than rap wiggers, in that there is in general next to no black influence in the scene anyway, making it pretty much a complete anomaly no one saw comming. At least rap is heavily black anyway, so you can kina make allowances for white dudes acting "black".
When it comes to metal/slam wiggers, no one goes further than the critically acclaimed Newyorkment. If you need further reminding on the way things are, look no further than this educational video featuring the wigger slam visionaries, on why metal that isn't slam is totally ghey.
I agree, most old skool shit does suck balls!
Also, if you haven't already, peep their myspace, which is absolutely fucking hilarious.
Anyhow, back to the subject of Grime, if Devlin puts a face on London, closer to home I got M16 reppin' Manchester. M16 is the area code for Moss Side, one of the more notorious areas. Much like how 3OH!3 are named after the phone area code or something of where they're from, this group would appear to be grimes answer to the 3OH!3. Oh, and they also look about 12.
Manchester's also now apparently the most dangerous city in England, with like the highest gun and knife crime. Also, factoring in the population, it has a higher rate of burglary than Baltimore.
So there you go, Grime, and how grim Manchester can be...
Managed to get "In the Zone", for the January exams. Shut out all my friends, even London chick, despite things no longer being as "south", as in my last post. Shes dropping out of uni there now anyway, so glad as fuck that shes moving back up North again. She was living in one of the most soul destroying grimy places you can imagine also pretty accurately portrayed in the community outcast video, I'm surprised a rich little maltstream girl even lasted as long as she did.
Grime and Donk seem to be a good fertile new place to take this blog, now that I'm shit bored of the much used scene/crunkcore/deathcore approach. At least now it's something closer to home. Living next to Longsight, an equally notorious area of Manchester, I could even see if I can give some kind of interactive window into the world of English grime. Oh, and one of the gangs is called the Gooch Close Gang. LOL
Anyhow, back to the subject of Grime, if Devlin puts a face on London, closer to home I got M16 reppin' Manchester. M16 is the area code for Moss Side, one of the more notorious areas. Much like how 3OH!3 are named after the phone area code or something of where they're from, this group would appear to be grimes answer to the 3OH!3. Oh, and they also look about 12.
Often, when asked to describe Manchester, I refer to it as "Like London, but without the good bits"
Manchester's also now apparently the most dangerous city in England, with like the highest gun and knife crime. Also, factoring in the population, it has a higher rate of burglary than Baltimore.
So there you go, Grime, and how grim Manchester can be...
Managed to get "In the Zone", for the January exams. Shut out all my friends, even London chick, despite things no longer being as "south", as in my last post. Shes dropping out of uni there now anyway, so glad as fuck that shes moving back up North again. She was living in one of the most soul destroying grimy places you can imagine also pretty accurately portrayed in the community outcast video, I'm surprised a rich little maltstream girl even lasted as long as she did.
Grime and Donk seem to be a good fertile new place to take this blog, now that I'm shit bored of the much used scene/crunkcore/deathcore approach. At least now it's something closer to home. Living next to Longsight, an equally notorious area of Manchester, I could even see if I can give some kind of interactive window into the world of English grime. Oh, and one of the gangs is called the Gooch Close Gang. LOL
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Donk: The Essence of the North West
Recently, in keeping with my North Western heritage, I have begun getting into the music of donk. Although i am not a chav, and my parents are pretty stable, so its not exactly a familiar scene.
If you are not from the north-west of England, I emplore you to now watch this video on the background of donk/chav culture, and get a feel of what the North West is like.
Particular highlights include:
"This is Spanish", Like Waynes World but with chavs.
"Do you want sittin on your fuckin arse?" I've seen this situation waayyy too many times, especially with the good Samaritan guy stepping in at the end "He's not worth it, not now mate, i'm not in the mood, don't touch me"
The "nice but dim bouncer", "If you do not let go of me, I will pop your eye out"
(the word was "co-operative" btw)
This skank. Although you may have seen a couple of maybe kind of attractive girls in the video, i guarentee most will end up looking like this. I recently witnessed an abomination like this hit on one of my friends in a pub, it was a very uncomfortable quarter of an hour.
(the word was "co-operative" btw)This skank. Although you may have seen a couple of maybe kind of attractive girls in the video, i guarentee most will end up looking like this. I recently witnessed an abomination like this hit on one of my friends in a pub, it was a very uncomfortable quarter of an hour.
There are far too many quality moments here containing the essence of the north west, so I find it hard to pinpoint any really, I just think you should watch the whole thing, and soak up the cultural wasteland of the North.
As you can probably guess, I have way more in common with the presenter here than anyone else featured, and find it funny to see him with all these working class northern types. There were probably a good few situations not shown where he got severely bullied and maybe even almost fought by his subjects, that weren't shown, and I have to give the guy mad props for going down Wigan pier, which is like Mordor for middle class kids like me and him. Although he was kind of undercover, in his new get up.
If you come from the north west of England, this video should make you squeal with recognition, as it definitely did me. Otherwise you will just find the strange sketchy working class English guys funny, but not really get it. I now feel like I have a one up on guys from New York or Tampa, even if it is just silly chav music.
On the note of Blackout Crew, I seriously love this group, even if they do look like the kind of people who would mug you/beat you up for having longish hair.
This is my personal fav, even if "put a donk on it" is their most famous track.
On a final note, this girls birthday party in the documentary shows just how classless northern girls are. Even though some may be attractive, the second they open their mouths it's all gone. This is probably why I developed a fascination with German girls, and I would get depressed whenever I came back from there, normally encountering someone like this girl at the airport. Now skip to 6:20, and feel my pain. It is a pain I still feel, and commonly run into at student house parties. Imagine trying to have a romantic moment with someone with that voice. At some point I will try and follow this up by documenting some hideous English girl voices, and post away. Until then, try and hold your puke back as she talks. Extreme example I know, but gives you a taste.
As you can probably guess, I have way more in common with the presenter here than anyone else featured, and find it funny to see him with all these working class northern types. There were probably a good few situations not shown where he got severely bullied and maybe even almost fought by his subjects, that weren't shown, and I have to give the guy mad props for going down Wigan pier, which is like Mordor for middle class kids like me and him. Although he was kind of undercover, in his new get up.
If you come from the north west of England, this video should make you squeal with recognition, as it definitely did me. Otherwise you will just find the strange sketchy working class English guys funny, but not really get it. I now feel like I have a one up on guys from New York or Tampa, even if it is just silly chav music.
On the note of Blackout Crew, I seriously love this group, even if they do look like the kind of people who would mug you/beat you up for having longish hair.
This is my personal fav, even if "put a donk on it" is their most famous track.
On a final note, this girls birthday party in the documentary shows just how classless northern girls are. Even though some may be attractive, the second they open their mouths it's all gone. This is probably why I developed a fascination with German girls, and I would get depressed whenever I came back from there, normally encountering someone like this girl at the airport. Now skip to 6:20, and feel my pain. It is a pain I still feel, and commonly run into at student house parties. Imagine trying to have a romantic moment with someone with that voice. At some point I will try and follow this up by documenting some hideous English girl voices, and post away. Until then, try and hold your puke back as she talks. Extreme example I know, but gives you a taste.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Fights are Cool
As most people are now aware, and has been reported on various blogs over the past week or so, the respective singers from both Emmure and The Acacia Strain recently had a fight backstage at an Emmure gig somewhere in America, resulting in *citation needed* busted noses. Apparently the bands have been at feud since The Acacia Strain accused Emmure of ripping them off or something (which, lets be fair, they kina did a bit, not that I don't like them), then Emmure made "R2 Deepthroat", directed at The Acacia Strain's singer, "Vincent Bennett".
The fallout from this seemingly minor event has led to countless "Emmure vs The Acacia Strain" polls/forum posts, and many more people saying that both suck, violence is bad, yada yada.
I Personally agree with the last quote. I also, despite being a fan of both bands, fully support the existence of the fight, and am glad that they have done this to support their tough guy hxc image. Much as I was syked about Will Rahmer from Mortician stabbing a cabbie in Poland, and the video of the guy from Himsa going apeshit on some dude, I love it when metal bands support their image of being badasses, as oppose to just being the nerdy guys the usually are. Just about all other genres ever seem to be more dramatic/eventful/violent than metal, which is quite dissapointing seeing as how metal's meant to be evil or some shit. Reggae festivals are meant to be dark violent places, full of stabbings and theft, wheras metal fests: middle class white kids as far as the eye can see complaining about sun burn.
Sporadic acts of violence like this up the baddass factor for the whole scene, and strangely seem to encourage respect from the wider world as well, as it shows we can "talk the talk". You look better for talking shit and fucking niggas up than just taking shit and being a spoiled white pussy like a wigger with a trust fund.
It could be that we are about to enter into an age where hardcore begins to resemble the early ninties rap scene, with drive-bys and whatnot. The hats are already being worn, and wigger culture is getting deeper and deeper into metal. Looking forward to a shoot out between Carnifex and Suicide Silence, and death metal bands being arrested for drug trafficing, albeit less embarressing than Brain Drill.
Also, the whole black metal thing dosn't count, as it wasn't sporadic violence, which is how true baddasses role, it was just gay metal theatrics taken way too far. No one thought it was cool and hardcore when a dead body was found in Michael Barrymore's pool with "Extreme Sexual Injuries", and black metal is the same. Simply gayness taken too far, in an attempt to prove itself.
Back in Manchester and it's fresher's week, which should mean going out and getting crunk, but had instead meant lying in bed listening to "The Diary" by Hollywood Undead and The Black Brokencyde, missing my girl-who-had-boyfriend-but-now-is-single-and-a-fresher-in-London-and-probably-getting-fucked-by-a-different-guy-every-night. I did half arsedly try to chat someone up at a party the other night, but ended up cba'ing, and then i think some other girl slapped me for some reason. Can't fully remember why. 5 more nights/chances then to live the 2nd/3rd/4th year dream of taking advantage of a "naive innocent" fresher...
The fallout from this seemingly minor event has led to countless "Emmure vs The Acacia Strain" polls/forum posts, and many more people saying that both suck, violence is bad, yada yada.
"Whatever the case… is it weird that I think this kinda sucks? For me, at least, metal (and hardcore, if you consider TAS or Emmure hardcore) has always provided an outlet for violent and, um, let’s say “socially inappropriate” emotions, so that I won’t get into any actual fights. I’m happy to enjoy the entertainment of two dudes talking some smack on one another, but I’d actually prefer that it remain all talk.
We’ll give you more on the story if we get it. In the meantime, let’s hope this doesn’t end up with any East Coast/West Coast drive-by shenanigans."
"You must not have grown up in the hardcore scene. I was surprised it was just knuckles not a gun."
- Sargent D, taking everyone back to school
"My money’s on the white guy."
"who cares which ones better, as long as you can go to one of their shows and kick the shit out of people, i'm happy."
I Personally agree with the last quote. I also, despite being a fan of both bands, fully support the existence of the fight, and am glad that they have done this to support their tough guy hxc image. Much as I was syked about Will Rahmer from Mortician stabbing a cabbie in Poland, and the video of the guy from Himsa going apeshit on some dude, I love it when metal bands support their image of being badasses, as oppose to just being the nerdy guys the usually are. Just about all other genres ever seem to be more dramatic/eventful/violent than metal, which is quite dissapointing seeing as how metal's meant to be evil or some shit. Reggae festivals are meant to be dark violent places, full of stabbings and theft, wheras metal fests: middle class white kids as far as the eye can see complaining about sun burn.
Sporadic acts of violence like this up the baddass factor for the whole scene, and strangely seem to encourage respect from the wider world as well, as it shows we can "talk the talk". You look better for talking shit and fucking niggas up than just taking shit and being a spoiled white pussy like a wigger with a trust fund.
It could be that we are about to enter into an age where hardcore begins to resemble the early ninties rap scene, with drive-bys and whatnot. The hats are already being worn, and wigger culture is getting deeper and deeper into metal. Looking forward to a shoot out between Carnifex and Suicide Silence, and death metal bands being arrested for drug trafficing, albeit less embarressing than Brain Drill.
Also, the whole black metal thing dosn't count, as it wasn't sporadic violence, which is how true baddasses role, it was just gay metal theatrics taken way too far. No one thought it was cool and hardcore when a dead body was found in Michael Barrymore's pool with "Extreme Sexual Injuries", and black metal is the same. Simply gayness taken too far, in an attempt to prove itself.
Back in Manchester and it's fresher's week, which should mean going out and getting crunk, but had instead meant lying in bed listening to "The Diary" by Hollywood Undead and The Black Brokencyde, missing my girl-who-had-boyfriend-but-now-is-single-and-a-fresher-in-London-and-probably-getting-fucked-by-a-different-guy-every-night. I did half arsedly try to chat someone up at a party the other night, but ended up cba'ing, and then i think some other girl slapped me for some reason. Can't fully remember why. 5 more nights/chances then to live the 2nd/3rd/4th year dream of taking advantage of a "naive innocent" fresher...
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Well tumultuous last couple of days, shared a joint with my girls actual boyfriend after bumping into him on a run (turns out he lives pretty close), and came clean, no one's really ready for that, so he just kind of cycled off. I did it pretty badly too, afterwards going "errrr...so is that cool?" and giving a dumb thumbs up.
Got a pissed off call from her an hour later, saying "wtf!! Y?!?!? Nvr tlk 2 meh agn!!!" which i wish i had recorded, cos it would make a cool interlude or end of album thing, maybe with static noise in the background or something, like that one by Atmosphere. Then the next day ran into her while walking my dog. Apparently she dreamt she beat me to death and everyone hates her now, and also (probably made up) something about how she had to stop her (now ex) boyfriend from getting a lynch mob together and going all candyman on my ass.
Also got semi fucked up with some friends last night and recreated Blink-182's infamous "What's My Age Again" video with two other guys, through some Lancaster suburbs, causing a very shocked looking car to stop dead in its tracks, almost unsafely fast.......as you probably would. It was a good night!
On Saturday I bid farewell to my varied, subcultural and generally interesting friends to go back to good old monochrome student life, where everyone looks/acts/dresses the fucking same. Swarms of Akercrombe and Fitch, Horizontal stripes, and Topman, and conversation as varied as "shit, that was a tricky lecture" and "ohhhh fuck, I got so smashed last night, I'm so off the rails lolololol". Rarely do they do anything more fun than talk shit and puke though, a fight is probably the most interesting thing students tend to do when drunk. And even then, they're normally shit fights.
Anyhow, people bitch alot about how I shouldn't hate on students, and that (motherfucking plot twist!!!) I am one.
So here are my reasons for eying students with contempt.
1. I've already covered in great detail how everyone seems to have condensed into roughly the same person. My theory is that after having spent teenage years experimenting with various subcultures, scenes and whatnot, they have now decided that, as good middle class kids, middle of the road topshop/topman life is for them (also notice all the black people modeling on the topman website, this is a lie, topman is as racially diverse as the tour de france). Maybe i'm therefore just somewhat imature to remain some kind of hybrid scene/wigger/metal guy, but fucked if i'm gonna start wearing horizontal stripes now!
2. There's a lot of subtle racism. It's extremely subtle, and nothing as bad as the aforemensioned Candyman link, obviously, but still, watch the reaction of a group of tight knit middle class white kids when an indian/asian asks them something. They all look like they're biting lemons. It's actually pretty hilarious.
3. Opinion that anyone who hasn't gone to uni is worthless, and shouldn't be associated with. Again subtle, but there.
4. Fucking facebook! during termtime, almost everyone has display pictures of them, in some club, with 2 or 3 bland friends, looking like they're having an awesome time. Of course, normally when you go out with these groups they are pretty boring, bob along to the music a little, and then occationally one whips out their digital camera, and they pull crazy poses and thumbs up, to create an image of what fun they're having. Said Picture is normally up before the night is even over, via not actually being that drunk.
non of you are getting any tonight
5. The fatness. Despite all loudly talking about going to the gym whenever anyone is near, by the end of year one, thanks to endless cheap bear and kebabs, the muffintop/overhang is as prevalent as ever, and several times during any lecture you can see people learning back to yawn, sending an avalanche of gut plummeting over their tight belt. Stuff You Will Hate's "Sargent D" will now explain further.
5. The knowledge that most likely every girl you meet, no matter how sweet and innocent she seems, is most likely something of a village bicycle who has been fucked every way imaginable in the past week. If she wasn't a hoe before uni, she will be by now. Just roll with it and try not to take anyone too seriously.
6. People like me, cunts who somehow think they're "above it", and cling onto some silly childish subcultural gimmick.....
Here's a cool list of student stereotypes i discovered, It is all 100% true. I'm pretty sure I'm a Night Owl/Sniper.
Anyway, I just discovered this blog got a fucking link to from Metal Inquisition, just as I posted my last embarrassingly "emo-as-shit" post, bad timing sarge! I really need to think of something better to blog about than being a bitter student scene kid.
Big move into new house tomorrow, back to the fucking jaws of Manchester! Last night beach (I use the word loosely) party tonight, hopefully something disasterous/funny/worth blogging about will happen so I can keep up the illusion on here that I have an interesting life! Won't have internet until Monday, so hopefully by then will have some housewarming stories of student debauchery! Piece!
Got a pissed off call from her an hour later, saying "wtf!! Y?!?!? Nvr tlk 2 meh agn!!!" which i wish i had recorded, cos it would make a cool interlude or end of album thing, maybe with static noise in the background or something, like that one by Atmosphere. Then the next day ran into her while walking my dog. Apparently she dreamt she beat me to death and everyone hates her now, and also (probably made up) something about how she had to stop her (now ex) boyfriend from getting a lynch mob together and going all candyman on my ass.Also got semi fucked up with some friends last night and recreated Blink-182's infamous "What's My Age Again" video with two other guys, through some Lancaster suburbs, causing a very shocked looking car to stop dead in its tracks, almost unsafely fast.......as you probably would. It was a good night!
On Saturday I bid farewell to my varied, subcultural and generally interesting friends to go back to good old monochrome student life, where everyone looks/acts/dresses the fucking same. Swarms of Akercrombe and Fitch, Horizontal stripes, and Topman, and conversation as varied as "shit, that was a tricky lecture" and "ohhhh fuck, I got so smashed last night, I'm so off the rails lolololol". Rarely do they do anything more fun than talk shit and puke though, a fight is probably the most interesting thing students tend to do when drunk. And even then, they're normally shit fights.
Anyhow, people bitch alot about how I shouldn't hate on students, and that (motherfucking plot twist!!!) I am one.
So here are my reasons for eying students with contempt.
1. I've already covered in great detail how everyone seems to have condensed into roughly the same person. My theory is that after having spent teenage years experimenting with various subcultures, scenes and whatnot, they have now decided that, as good middle class kids, middle of the road topshop/topman life is for them (also notice all the black people modeling on the topman website, this is a lie, topman is as racially diverse as the tour de france). Maybe i'm therefore just somewhat imature to remain some kind of hybrid scene/wigger/metal guy, but fucked if i'm gonna start wearing horizontal stripes now!
2. There's a lot of subtle racism. It's extremely subtle, and nothing as bad as the aforemensioned Candyman link, obviously, but still, watch the reaction of a group of tight knit middle class white kids when an indian/asian asks them something. They all look like they're biting lemons. It's actually pretty hilarious.
3. Opinion that anyone who hasn't gone to uni is worthless, and shouldn't be associated with. Again subtle, but there.
4. Fucking facebook! during termtime, almost everyone has display pictures of them, in some club, with 2 or 3 bland friends, looking like they're having an awesome time. Of course, normally when you go out with these groups they are pretty boring, bob along to the music a little, and then occationally one whips out their digital camera, and they pull crazy poses and thumbs up, to create an image of what fun they're having. Said Picture is normally up before the night is even over, via not actually being that drunk.
non of you are getting any tonight
5. The fatness. Despite all loudly talking about going to the gym whenever anyone is near, by the end of year one, thanks to endless cheap bear and kebabs, the muffintop/overhang is as prevalent as ever, and several times during any lecture you can see people learning back to yawn, sending an avalanche of gut plummeting over their tight belt. Stuff You Will Hate's "Sargent D" will now explain further.
5. The knowledge that most likely every girl you meet, no matter how sweet and innocent she seems, is most likely something of a village bicycle who has been fucked every way imaginable in the past week. If she wasn't a hoe before uni, she will be by now. Just roll with it and try not to take anyone too seriously.
6. People like me, cunts who somehow think they're "above it", and cling onto some silly childish subcultural gimmick.....
Here's a cool list of student stereotypes i discovered, It is all 100% true. I'm pretty sure I'm a Night Owl/Sniper.
Anyway, I just discovered this blog got a fucking link to from Metal Inquisition, just as I posted my last embarrassingly "emo-as-shit" post, bad timing sarge! I really need to think of something better to blog about than being a bitter student scene kid.
Big move into new house tomorrow, back to the fucking jaws of Manchester! Last night beach (I use the word loosely) party tonight, hopefully something disasterous/funny/worth blogging about will happen so I can keep up the illusion on here that I have an interesting life! Won't have internet until Monday, so hopefully by then will have some housewarming stories of student debauchery! Piece!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
A few days of random happenings and sightings
"Has the match defeated girls you have drunk?"
Or so I was recently asked by a Chinese girl I was added by on ICQ, in reference to girls at English house parties and drinking games. I have no idea what this girl defeating "match" is....nor quite why i'm getting accused of "drinking" girls.
Going to Manchester to record guitar the other week all went to plan, with one small hiccup........THE FUCKING TRAIN CAUGHT FIRE!!!! Yes, I was on the train, when suddenly some typical working class English "dad" type came running up to the ticket guy and said "Excuse me mate, that carriage is full o smoke", at which the ticket bro went "Shit, fire!" and ran in the opposite direction.
So we evacuated the fucker at Chorley, where the firemen came and saw to things, the station was shut down as such, and we were all stranded there for about an hour, before some other train took us back the way we came to Preston, and then back another way to Manchester. All in all, what should have been a 1 hour journey, became about 3 and a half.
During our panicy time in Chorley, which played out like an episode of lost, more or less everyone gathered round the poor ticket bro, who was trying to explain the situation, and shouted at him about why they have to be in Manchester on time, why their situation is more despirate than anyone elses, and why the trainline should have been more prepared and this was their fault. Some old women, who no doubt reads a tabloid, started up about how they "don't care about people", or something. This whole episode was made all the more unbearable by the fact that everyone had a working class manc/north-west accent, and the majority of the outraged were female, and so went into that shrill, treblely nasal voice women use when they have a moment of self righteous rage.
Noticed a textbook chubby Pete Wentz fan, who always ended up stood near me, and probably hoped i'd start a conversation. Also, while near her one time, i heard a noise I would recognise anywhere....it sounded like a retard hitting a series of pots and pans, punctuated with a shrill DA!.......DA!........DA! She was listening to St Anger on her ipod nano. Actually, it was more like a "worst of Metallica" compilation, consisting of all the shit off St Anger, Load, and something quite possibly off Death Magnatic, which i haven't given the time yet, and probably never will. Something in the world is going amiss when slightly scene chubby girls are listening to latter day Metallica.
There was also some geeky dude painfully hitting on a similarly dorky girl, which was quite sweet i guess....I wonder if he got her number.
So anyway, after recording guitar at a bro's home studio rig, I went out on Manchester with a friends birthday procession, the night was relatively without incident, however, I did run into the death metal guy I saw at brokeNCYDE, and he has a cute scene girlfriend....I think. I was like "dude, were you at brokeNCYDE?" and he was like "yeah man", and then his friend said that we suck, so I was like, "you won't understand, don't worry if its too deep for you"...actually, this always happens when i introduce people to BC13.
On monday hung out with a friend from Germany who was traveling round and had a 20 bag, so we went out and got mega stoned. Unfortunately, everyone else we were with had normal midnight I-better-get-to-bed-now-I-have-an-early-start reaction, but we stayed up and broed down untill about 4, getting really high.
Over the past few days, I have got so sick of the word Irony. Everyone's always so "oh, its ok, they're doing it Ironically", or "he likes brokeNCYDE, but I think he's being ironic". All the fucking time. People use it to excuse shit taste, or wear terrible clothes...or make shitty cultural jokes which have already been done to death. Stupid people say it all the time in the wrong context, clever people say it all the time in an annoying context. In the same way people used to always say "pretentious", today's word of the retarded middleclass teenage/student masses is "Ironic". I wear ott Osiris shoes because I like them, I listen to brokeNCYDE because I like them............fuck you all. If you like something, don't be afraid to admit it
Not seen my Girl-who-has-boyfriend since bloodstock :(...may try and work in some jealously trap like Tom Cruise mentions on Magnolia....doubtless it will prove to be a Monumental Failure.
I think i've figured out how to write a blog...it dosn't matter what your subject matter is, so long as you throw in plenty of alt-culture references, some fucking irony, plenty of links to silly pictures...and maybe voice an opinion that no one else has thought of yet....extra marks if its meant ironically.
I also noticed I seem to reference brokeNCYDE in every post.............Skeet Skeet
The more vulnerable portion of the population in Lancaster seem to be taking new, more extreme methods to protect from the swine flu menace. By more vulnerable I mean old, and by more extreme I mean some kind of portable bio-dome.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Music Vs Reality
Recently, the drummer in my band decided to quit, in order to go to Huddersfield for university. As well as this, our singer is more or less AWOL, spending more time with his girlfriend, his high paying job, and his nice high rising flat in the center of Manchester, and his less committal, peaceful indie type band that requires significantly less time and effort than technical death metal. On top of that, the other guitarist is about to jet off for Greece for a year to learn and teach kung-fu with the legendary "grand master" he often tells us about, who apparently ran around in vietnam without a weapon killing people with his bare hands, and has killed 2 people with some kind of heart stopping preassure move, and become some kind of Karate kid incarnate, probably in a year that will be much like this i imagine.
Even me myself, am not at my best having lost a lot of time studying my balls off for the finals, which I did infact pass, narrowly. I'm even spending a year in germany after this one as part of my course, which will be a further blow to the already severly beaten dream of making it in a death metal band.
With this, has come reflection, and the realisation that making it in a death metal band, despite being what i've wanted more than anything for the past 5 or 6 years, is actually, not that great an ambition, compaired to going to university and getting a good job. Most people in bands sacrifice their futures for a few years of glory, but no matter how big you become, you will always eventually have to return to the daily grind of mundane life, and often, it isn't all too welcoming after your time off, and musicians, no matter how renowned or celebrated, often end up in terrible dead end jobs, and grow old ungracefully, always wishing for the former glory. It was a depressing wake up call for me when I learnt that Pin from Sikth, one of my biggest influences and responsible for possibly my favorite album of all time, now works in a call center somewhere in greater Manchester now that Sikth have broken up. Even a band as huge as Motorhead, after watching a tour diary, seem to lead quite a grim existanc of constant touring in order to afford life, constantly harking back to better days. And then there's Manowar, who, as much as they suck, are undeniably successful for a metal band, and you would have thought have at least reasonable living conditions. So as much as dropping everything to play metal, go touring and maybe produce some kind of pinnicle CD appeals, I don't think it would be worth the loss of a secure financialy stable future, and secure middle class familly life with a pet dog and holidays to the south of France which, despite being repuatably dull, is actually something i'm really looking forward to.
You kind of notice that alot of people who are still into metal in their middle ages are massive loosers, and this probably scares a lot of people into growing up. I'm hoping that in the next couple of decades or so, there is a boom in the amount of normal successful middle aged people who are into metal and have plenty of faded tattoos, to prove that metalheads arn't all loosers.
This slow death of dreams dosn't nessacerily mean a loss of identity and allegiance to metal. I'm gonna be playing guitar for the rest of my life (at least untill the onset of arthritis), and going to shows. I'm still gonna be getting tattoos, and following the scene, its just not gonna be the only thing about me. I'm hoping I don't end up like this:
rather than become a quite typical dad like mine (hopefully a cool dad), albeit who happens to love death metal and has faded tattoos. I don't even want a "Metal" family, rather than a quite "square" partner and kids who find their own cultures to love. I remember at the Tuska festival a couple of years ago, I saw this tastefully metalheadish middle aged guy, who turned out to watch Emperor with his non-metal wife, who kina looked slightly hippieish. He watched the band for a little bit, but after a while, when it was clear she wasn't enjoying it, he took her further back so they could talk. That woman was probably the most out of place person there, but the fact they would go to Tuska as part of an evening out kind of warms me. Hopefully he went to some grateful dead or something gig with her too.
Its a shame though that so many people completely drop the subculture they were as they realise that musical dreams arn't gonna come to fruition. I'm pretty much the only person in my class at uni that dresses like any kind of subculture, with new era caps and devourment t shirts amoung the swarms of Akercrombe and Fitch, Horizontal stripes, and Topman. Almost every metal head I know has now cut their hair, and pretty much stopped listening to metal, as a part of "fitting in" with their new university friends. I never really hung out with other metalheads much through my teen years, so maybe thats why at uni im so comfortable keeping my identity and dressing like a metalhead/scene kid amounst other student friends. I definitely aren't treated any differently, and if I was, well, I wouldn't hang out with them.
So as reality sets in, I still am and always will be very much proud of who I am and was, and will keep the identity. Its just a shame that there are so few people in the middle, everyone eather drops all identity and conforms to middle class comfort, or keeps it up, persues their dreams, maybe with some success, but ultimately ends up a massive looser.
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