Mixing two very different parts of your life for amusing effect

So today I was hanging out at the Mall with this girl, and remembered I needed to get some new warhammers.

Being that she was a socially normal, good looking, no real problems girl, she was kina wary of going to the Games Workshop, so I was all "it'll be fun, we can laugh all the nerdy people and stuff and make fun of how fat and skin hopeless everyone is but on a serious note I genuinely do need to get some Eldar for some games this summer". This approach worked, so we hopped over.

Upon arrival, she loudy said it smelt of sweaty guys, and then went up to a table and started bashing some space marines into each other pretending to make them fight, and generally taking the piss. This made the nerd in me rage slightly, but I was having a good day and it was kina funny, so I played along and let her do her thing.

The strange thing happened when I was buying my new models, and she playfully asked the guy working there what the big deal was with....well, everything.... Drawing upon an infinately limited knowledge of the opposite sex and a few stereotypes apparently based on Lindsay Lohan films, he hilariously tried to compare buying warhammer to buying shoes, in possibly one of the biggest ever acts of social seppuku I have ever witnessed. Seriously, any amount of predictable British comedy based on contrived awkward social situations had nothing on this guy.

There are some parts of your life you should just not mix, I've suffered disasters before when mixing students with scene kids, so I should have probably known better than having to put this poor dude through that ordeal. Now I'm ending the day by watching my dog trying to get his head around the concept of bearded Dragons for the umpteenth time.

Thy Art is Murder: Natural Speakers

Further to my previous post hocking TAIM, I did a similar one on Reverse Current the other day, featuring the most redundant studio report ever, with possibly the most incredible display of charm and charisma ever seen from a death metal band. In this report, "Graz and Sean" tell us that it's "straight up....fast.....and errrrrrrrr, pretty evil".



Like all good speechmakers, they begin by lighting the mood with a joke. The old "oh hi!, didn't see you there!" used by children's TV presenters the world over. Sean is pleased with himself for this, and makes a strange self satisfyed squirming motion, accentuated by a bizarre nod at nothing....


...Before settling into a shit eating grin...

While Graz picks up the pace with his trademark captivating speech voice, already known as the "Obama of Australian deathcore".

I think after Sean says that he plays guitar though he triggers some kind of repressed childhood memory, as he pulls the most evil creepy stare ever, where he looks somewhere between crying and strangling his girlfriend...

He holds this eye contact with the camera for an unsettling amount of time, which gets pretty unnerving after a while.

At about 0:30, Graz makes the mistake of letting Sean speak again, resulting in him dying in the room...

"...and its errrrrr, pretty much just, errrrrr straight up heavy, fast, and errrm, pretty, err, pretty evil"

Graz once again swoops in to save him with his Australian charms, while Sean pauses to think about what he's done...

Unfortunately, not even his best efforts can last in more that 5 seconds of monotonous monosylabic expression, and he soon dies as well, leaving them both with nothing to do but go and escape to the world of Pro Tools...

Well I don't know about you, but that's got me really looking forward to the album!!!!