Wednesday, December 16, 2009
I especially love how he gave me a fringe and new era cap (with sticker), on top of an existing "meme" image, lotta thought and love :)
Planning on relaunching our band soon as well, as just the two of us, seeing how thanks to the internet, you can actually do pretty well without playing live or apparently even having any albums, so long as you have enough of a "Keut" personal brand going. Just peep J Bigga and Dot Dot Curve and all that stuff, and goddamn Senor Bivins! So long as you have a sick ass myspace, twitter, and some cool merch, and put yourselfs out there as being "fun ass guise who are down 2 party", i'm pretty sure the internet will gobble you up. Be interesting to see if it works for death metal/deathcore though, actually yeah, Disfiguring the Goddess/Big Chocolate pulled it off!
Plus me and him work totally fly together anyway whenever we go out, He's the tough ass serious muscular metalhead in black, and I'm the cutesy playful scene one in happy colours, (its a similar dynamic to Baz and Jeremy on GTA 4's "The Men's Room"), and chicks eat that combo right up, so online should hopefully be no different. Add to that that we can both play guitar to an absolutely fucking wizard level, crack out some sick ass DM vocals, and have a ton of awesome equipment/recording know how, and I think it really could work! Be the death metal dot dot curve!
Also began to write for a new metal blog, Reverse Current, after Headbang died. Yeah, I know metal blogs are like, ubiquitous to the max, and metal fans reviewing metal is pretty boring usually, but at the same time, because of all our industry contacts built up from HB, it means lots of free shit and gigs for me, and even fucking backstage at festivals, so I be doing it! Plus I will never say no to the opportunity to voice my obnoxious opinion. Gonna try and not be as elitist as most metal blogs, and not hate on fucking everything as well, so hopefully that'll make it semi different. Go peep that shit!
Looking forward to Christmas back home in Lancaster like OMG! Chilling with my uber sarcastic brother and playing PS3 to the max. Maybe my London maltstream girl'l be around and down to hang out. That'd be fucking perfect :D
Wish I had more to say, realized haven't posted here for a while, and so this one was kina forced, and looking back seems to kind of resemble a end of season clip show like the Fresh Prince of Bell Air would often do. Catch ya round.
Friday, December 04, 2009
Could this be the most wiggerific song going right now. Me thinks so. Listen to this before you go out and I guarentee you'll be droppin' fools left right and center, and grindin' the finest shorties. As you can see it's from some album called "Punk goes Crunk", also featuring such awesome shizz as Scary Kids Scaring Kids covering Notorious B.I.G, Forever the Sickest Kids covering Men in Black, Lorene Drive playing that sick ass Outkast song, and the Devil Wears Prada song two posts below.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
However, I fucking love Thy Art Is Murder so much I wana bum them all. They play some mad sick technical deathcore, with the sickest breakdowns, some mad shredding, hella tight blastbeats, double bass drums out their anus, FUCKING SLAM RIFFS, pig squeals, pro high and low vocals, and pretty much everything I like about metal and makes me squirm with glee. If I could be in any band right now it would be them (actually, fuck that, it would be Blink 182 so I could actually make some money).
I even ordered their EP, which never arrived, fucking Aussies.
Also found this vid of their best song, "Infinite Death", with the lyrics, holy fuck!
Hack them up
Kill them one by one
The taste of pure slut is all that keeps me here
Lock up your doors
Lock up the sluts
Lock up their cunts
Everything I want I fucking own
My life revolves around fucking possession
Everything that I own I just posses to dismember
They love to watch themselves hacked apart
All their limbs will be removed
Enter the mind of a psychopath
Where girls remain possessions
Do you love what I have done?
Raping just for the fun
Have I lost my mind?
For becoming who I am
Its all your fucking fault
Dumb bitches fuck they don’t understand
This world does not revolve around them
All your limbs will be removed with tedious precision
What’s left is fucking useless but still breathing
Each breath feeds them as they chew flesh
My conscience escapes me when I feel the warm insides of sluts
All your limbs will be removed
I live two separate lives
I’m hiding in disguise
Seek and you’ll fucking find
I live two separate lives
Hidden from their fucking eyes
I hunt in secret
I hunt in silence
I stalk my prey in secret
Watch them waste away
Yeah, I know it's pretty tame for most, Devourment would fucking school these guys on hating chicks, but there's something very innocent and childlike about the hatred that I find quite endearing and can relate to. I can even imagine writing them myself in a low moment, although I'd probably come back the next day and go "fuck! what was I thinking?!" like i normally do. The:
For becoming who I am
Its all your fucking fault
Dumb bitches fuck they don’t understand
This world does not revolve around them"
sounds particularly adolescent heartbreak, I can almost Imagine one of them sobbing it into his pillow, while angrily scrawling it onto an A4 notepad. The fact that this probably happened in an Australian accent also makes me lol.
Hating on chicks is pretty entry level, although it's easy to see why it goes hand in hand with metal. There's no need to elaborate on that at all it's so fucking obvious. It's pretty much the metal way to be emo. And while it's easy to mock something like this when all's cool, most of us will often want to turn to this stuff when we get fucked over by some chick.
From about 14-18, like most dudes, i was severely and repeatedly played, probably worst than most, the worst case i can recall right now when a girl i'd already got with invited me to come stay with her in Finland, before ditching me more or less as soon as I was off the plane to go hangout with some other friends, more or less abandoning me there. Luckily I had other friends in the city, so managed to scrape together an ok holiday out of it, but fuck! It's easy to see why I gravitated towards death metal. I remember repeatedly watching this Carnifex video when I got home.
So yeah, as I get older and the balance of social power has shifted, I find myself playing chicks more than vice versa, and have in general grown the fuck up, i guess the whole thing has shifted more into perspective. There's nothing wrong with this kina stuff, It's just extreme heartbreak music, or alternatively good old violence for violence sake, with pornography thrown in for good measure. Apart from on the train today when I was listening to Thy Art Is Murder's "Whore to a Chainsaw" and staring some poor girl down feeling like the most evil twisted mother fucker around. That was just me being hella creepy.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Discovered this absolute cuntbag the other day. I remember when I first discovered T Mills (what the fuck is his new haircut btw, I had that when I was seven!), and I thought he seemed like a total douche, yet I still felt a weird kind of affection for him, cos he was so fucking ridiculous and just screamed out "trying too hard!". Anyway, this is Jakewolf, he's like the budget T Mills, with less/crappyer tats, worse production, less of a following, and possibly the worst lyrics in screamo crunk to date. If you have ever noted any screamo crunk lyrics you will realise this is no mean feat, and is tantamount to something like worst fatal car crash, or worst nuclear holocaust. Add the midrange high production and his girly voice makes it really quite an endurance test to listen to.
Oh Yeah, and he has the symbol for the World Health Organisation (or WHO) tattooed on his neck. I've seen some pretty regrettable tats in my time, but this one totally takes the scene biscuit! After a little investigative journalism (posting a question on his youtube comments), a reliable source (a youtube comment poster), informed me that it was because he has Diabetes, and the symbol is on the insulin packets. Now, I understand that we should be thankful for the organisation that, so far, has prevented swine flu, sars, bird flu, and god knows what else ravaging our lands and people (although they are responsible for keeping Jake Wolf alive, which kind of puts them in a morally neutral position), but isn't there a more useful and less future destroying way to show this appreciation? like becoming a doctor, instead of getting a "keut" tat. At least he didn't get one of Wilfred Brimley.
On the subject of tattoos/destroying your future, I noticed he has ink on his face, neck and hands, but more or less no where else. All the tattoos are pretty simple and probably didn't cost that much, and likely have other flimsy, hastily thought out reasons of being there. I noticed this recently with scene kids, the current trend seems to be inking up the most visible areas possible, hands, neck, face and whatnot first. I know this little scene dude in Manchester who's just got one hand and his upper chest done, and then there's this guy. It's like its become a race to see who can destroy their future/become unpresentable as quickly as possible for the least money (actually, that kind of sums up all alt culture). If that's true, then Jake Wolf, with his brand of budget screamo crunk and embarrassing cheap tattoos, certainly wins. Hi Five Bro!!!
Obviously though, not everyone views this cunt with the same disdain I do (and seriously, every picture I see, combined with that whiny fucking girl voice, make we wanna deck him something fierce), because he has managed to land himself arguably the most sought after prize in scene world, the hot, yet fucking irritating Kikikannibal.
If you don't know her, she makes shitty fucking jewellery, is a vegetarian, and self centred scene queen. She's also kina hot I guess. For some reason, she also happens to be really famous. I myself, am waiting for her brief spell of beauty to end, and for her to inevitably become just another lonely crazy old cat women, confused and angry about where her status went. I recently tried to watch one of her videos, but just couldn't take it after about 5 seconds, pulled the cat face, and had to go shove forks in my eyes.
The combination of these next level teen scene train wrecks is surely a sign of the coming scene apocalypse. I hope they have kids. Imagine how fucked up they'll make them. The shits gonna hit the fan when T Mills hooks up with Melissa Millionaire(who incidentaly seems much more fun/legit/genuine/probably a better lay than Kiki, also didn't realise that Dani has gauged lobes, which is pretty ace, chick I mentioned at the beginning had them too, turns out they don't smell of cheese).
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Saturday, November 07, 2009
As winter makes its presence known in Manchester, and the nights get longer, the rain gets even more frequent, the sky somehow gets even greyer, I begin too see my own breath when I wake up, my level of apathy goes through the roof. Combine this with the pang of missing my regularly mentioned in this blog girl-in-London (formerly girl-with-boyfriend), who I recently visited, and had one of the best weekends of my life with, and the situation in my course being "shit just got real".
1. Hurry! Lets Go - Mayday Mayday
Although it's actually chock full of gay little happy melodies, the rather middle of the road entry level xbrokenxheartx lyrics give it a strange new vibe, which lends a weird, "hey....it just is bro", feeling to it. Basically, it kind of glamorises however shit you feel, making you feel like a character in a film, thus lending you some slight hope, and making you feel slightly cooler at the same time.
2. N!tro - Running Away
Much more standard xbrokenxheartx vibe but this time with N!tro's trademark kooky lyrics ranging from quite clever and relatable to completely fucking silly. This one has such gems as "I wana leave on my Jetski, ride to the ocean so nobody can catch me, and throw my phone in the water so nobody can text me" and "you got me lost like a satellite travelling in another galaxy". Has extra value to me now after going home this weekend, "telling my mum about this shit", and her telling me to "find another girl".
3. brokeNCYDE - I don't know
It's pretty tricky to choose just one brokeNCYDE song, as pre-BC13 they have a seemingly endless supply of shamelessly self pitying songs which pretty much take emo to it's logical conclusion. It's quite surprising that they suddenly stopped respecting women and began to write the feel good crunk anthems we know and love them for. I could have easily chosen any of the others, as they're all pretty much the same. You know you're in a bad place when these lyrics no longer make you cringe. Seems to have some kind of autobiographical value for se7en, with the words "the dopest in rap but couldn't never focus on that, was too distracted by the smoke that was choking his past". Obviously even the most bro-like fun time screamo crunk MCs have issues and dark pasts they try to hide from!! Maybe the "get crunk" lifestyle is all just a show, because he's just been hurt too many times and all he really wants is to settle down and snuggle with his own lil scene love <3.>
4. Blood On The Dance Floor - Designed to Kill
It's been a good while before I've been embarrassed about liking anything, I mean, when you hang out with death metal fans and start reppin' brokeNCYDE and dot dot curve, it's gonna raise some eyebrows, but BOTDF have made me squirm in a way I'd forgotten how. Their flamboyant campness, scene hair, donkish beats, and next level tasteless lyrics make for a very bitter lemon indeed. This is pretty standard BOTDF affair, with a pretty chill chorus of the xbrokenxheartsx variety. It probably makes the list on the merit of being the only BOTDF song I'm aware of which has lyrics going beyond "suck my dick girl", into, ya know, feelings, and stuff.
5. dot dot curve :) - Rocket Ship To The Moon
Like all dot dot curve songs, the words are all a wtf!?! invoking meaningless blurrr of "I'm the sex" and "All you haters can SMB!". However, among their usual chaotic whirl of synth mashing, this song gives me quite a dark vibe, which suits the Manchester winter quite well. I've taken to wapping this on my mp3 player whenever I leave the house in my high-tops.
6. Hollywood Undead - The Diary
I expected freshers week this year to be much like the last, a whirl of parties, nights out, and alcohol, with the added bonus of being a second year. Instead, I slept alot, hung around miserably on facebook, and listened to this song, while missing girl-in-London, and all my friends back home.
7. Breathe Carolina - The Rescue
Breathe Carolina seem like the least creepy, most upstanding group here (exept maybe N!tro). All their songs are actually pretty heartfelt and there rarely seem to make immature references to getting head, so that alone makes them stand out. I just love the "Did we enjoy ourselfs, when we destroyed ourselfs". I'm probably gonna put this on a playlist for getting stoned with bros after a night out sometime.
8. The Medic Droid - The Killer Anna
I've been reppin' this song for wayyy longer than the others, and applied the lyrics to many, many girls I've had a thing with, then lost in the past couple of years. In fact I think this was the beginning of my whole screamo crunk thing, back when I still convinced myself that I only was into it "ironically".
So anyway, there ya go, a selection of jamz to keep you cold during the winter months, and provide an alternative to whatever other terrible music you normally listen too. If you're having trouble taking any of this stuff seriously, I would recommend listening while staring out a window when it's raining, and before long the ridiculousness will be lost, and you'll be applying every song non ironically to your own life and wishing you could "bro down", with Spanky from dot dot curve.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
I think it wouldn't be unfair to suggest that a big factor in the resentment Job For A Cowboy have to face on a daily basis is their bass players lobes...........and ginger hair/beard combo.
It is hard to pinpoint exactly why metal dudes hate this. I have a journalistic gut feeling that there must be something deeper at play here than simply resenting their affiliations with scene kids. Of course, look on many of the "Why deathcore sucks!" articles/youtube videos around the place and you'll find plenty of disparaging comments about them. All I can really think is that the dudes who have gauged lobes tend to be the most fun loving, hella mass chill bros in the deathcore bunch, who are normally completely oblivious to any haters they may have. For this reason, I think the majority of metalheads, making angry blogs/youtube videos, both fear and despise them the most. They won't even get angry and provide anyone with more ammunition.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Monday, October 05, 2009
Anyhow, it was a pretty sick night, I hung out, made new friends, trolled some fat tub of goo, scoped some of the tasty new fresher chicks in the society, including one who I made out with, but wouldn't let me in after as I discovered, her (hopefully generic scene hating metalhead) boyfriend was in the flat. This was after I had said earlier, jokingly, to some other metal dudes, that the only reason they hate scenies is because we steal their chicks. I got the idea from the end of the brokeNCYDE album.
If you are a generic metal dude, that last paragraph should already have you seething with rage, with brokeNCYDE being the icing on the cake. Now understand that I know what I'm taking about. I know how to make you rage.
Of course, making metalheads rage is very much like making the Westboro Baptist Church rage. If you don't conform to a very strict set of diktats, someone will probably call you fag. Because of this, it's hardly a tricky task, but it is a rewarding one nevertheless.
Deathcore is obviously one of the easiest ways to make metalheads rage. So easy that i'm getting quite bored of it as a trolling method (luckily thanks to shit getting more rediculous by the second, Brokencyde->Attack Attack!->T Mills, I am never normally out of a fresh trolling tool). I mean check out this guy! Weird redneck dude with slayer t shirt and a huge list of deathcore bands and saying for each one the same critique of "I HATE BREAKDOWNS, SILLY HAIR, GAUGED LOBES, RIPPING OFF SLAYERRRRR!!!!!". He must really have his vagina in a twist about something! I also noticed this other post about typical genre rage, another surefire metalhead troll tactic, and stumbled upon this rage gem:
NOTE: Eric, if you ever read this, I have nothing against you personally. But God is your music awful. And for the record, Bring Me The Horizon is not metal in any way, shape or form, and certainly not thrash. Listen to some Kreator or some Exhorder, then you will understand what real thrash is."
Here is another gem of metalhead rage I found recently, I swear by the end I could feel the guy's cheeto breath on my face and smell his B.O. I had to back away from the screen. It all just seemed far too real, the greasy hair, the rumbling of the spit in his throat...Afterwards I sprayed some oust round the room and tried to get back to business.
Now would you rather hang out with him? or these? (I'm not sure, but I suspect, that they might be Attila fans, which would be sick, because I'm yet to meet someone else who doesn't hate that band)
So, how do you like to annoy metal folk? Any good stories or links? As easy as it is, it is actually a very rich and rewarding experience, and I urge anyone to do it. From claiming that BMTH are more technical than Origin on youtube, to telling people that Manowar are fucking gay, I guarantee that you will enjoy it. I also now have a use for T Mills :)
Saturday, October 03, 2009
I'm also glad that I alerted D to my horrific unearthing of T Mills. As far as discoveries go, this is like the scene equivalent of the beginning of The Exorcist. Now there may be a new whipping boy to mock, make references to, and ask the question "is this guy for real?". Soon music nerds the internet through will look back with fondness on the days when all they had to worry about was brokeNCYDE and Cryptopsy going Deathcore. Now a new age of nerd rage could very well be upon us. Subcultures are moving so fast nowadays that most likely within 6 months brokeNCYDE will no longer be relevant and I will be bitter and jaded, complaining to T Mills fans on youtube videos about how he "dosn't have the feeling that BC13 had back in the day", in a ridiculous parallel to old metal dudes getting sore about deathcore metaphorically stealing the chicks at their party.
It is probably worth a note that while brokeNCYDE do mainly appeal to teen scene chicks, they do have a few male fans, normally sleazy creepers like me, but a notable male following nevertheless. T Mills is almost entirely female followed. While guys, when they really like music, will break down the technical aspects so they can convincingly argue that their opinion is right, and probably form their own bands that copy the originals, girl super fans will draw some incredibly retarded looking sketches of you, and film themselves talking in a monotone voice along with your music in a youtube video, while giggling and holding a cat who is clearly as horrified as me at this whole thing, and just really, really wishes he was somewhere else.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Recently, in keeping with my North Western heritage, I have begun getting into the music of donk. Although i am not a chav, and my parents are pretty stable, so its not exactly a familiar scene.
If you are not from the north-west of England, I emplore you to now watch this video on the background of donk/chav culture, and get a feel of what the North West is like.
Particular highlights include:
(the word was "co-operative" btw)
This skank. Although you may have seen a couple of maybe kind of attractive girls in the video, i guarentee most will end up looking like this. I recently witnessed an abomination like this hit on one of my friends in a pub, it was a very uncomfortable quarter of an hour.
As you can probably guess, I have way more in common with the presenter here than anyone else featured, and find it funny to see him with all these working class northern types. There were probably a good few situations not shown where he got severely bullied and maybe even almost fought by his subjects, that weren't shown, and I have to give the guy mad props for going down Wigan pier, which is like Mordor for middle class kids like me and him. Although he was kind of undercover, in his new get up.
If you come from the north west of England, this video should make you squeal with recognition, as it definitely did me. Otherwise you will just find the strange sketchy working class English guys funny, but not really get it. I now feel like I have a one up on guys from New York or Tampa, even if it is just silly chav music.
On the note of Blackout Crew, I seriously love this group, even if they do look like the kind of people who would mug you/beat you up for having longish hair.
This is my personal fav, even if "put a donk on it" is their most famous track.
On a final note, this girls birthday party in the documentary shows just how classless northern girls are. Even though some may be attractive, the second they open their mouths it's all gone. This is probably why I developed a fascination with German girls, and I would get depressed whenever I came back from there, normally encountering someone like this girl at the airport. Now skip to 6:20, and feel my pain. It is a pain I still feel, and commonly run into at student house parties. Imagine trying to have a romantic moment with someone with that voice. At some point I will try and follow this up by documenting some hideous English girl voices, and post away. Until then, try and hold your puke back as she talks. Extreme example I know, but gives you a taste.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
So anyway, I fuckin jam out N!tro all the time since rapidsharing his album, I would have probably paid, had it been available anywhere but itunes, but it isn't, and apple can smb. Got some pretty terrible/awesome/relatable lyrics too, in a bullshit scene kid kina way, seems to quite accurately convey romance in a kind of alt teen setting, referencing facebook, myspace top friends, txting and all that other passive aggresive bullshit.
Anyway, heres probably his most popular song, and the one which introduced me to the reality of black people being aware of/being scene kids. We all kind of guessed that there must be at least one out there, maybe you even saw one on a google image search when you were bored, but they never seemed truly real, in the same way komodo dragons arn't really "dragons".
Despite being obviously kind of middle class, having more in common with, say, Kanye West than Mobb Deep, the dude still strikes me as a hella mass chill bro. I wish I had more friends like him, or any black friends at all for that matter, at the moment the best i really have are some maltstream* azns, so the idea of a black scene dude really gets me going.
Also, if you step into the photo section of his myspace, you unlock an incredible new world, where many more non-white scene kids come out of no where, and scene is no longer simply the persuit of pale bulimic suburban white kids.
.....and if that didn't turn things around enough for you, in this crazy world of opposites that N!tro seems to be creating from his bedroom, the white scenes are all red puffy, chubby and rather retarded looking creatures, as we see by this monstrosity.
Feels good that screamo crunk could be becoming some kind of subcultural utopia, with an equal racial cross section. This may simply be due to the fact that all scene kids/scene wiggers are pretty middle class, by which black middle class people are also sort of wiggers too, in that they are just as alien to the inside of a Mobb Deep lyrics sleve as white middle class kids, but feel like they have to live up to that image anyway, therefore, racial devide becomes completely meaningless, as everyone works together to chase that golden grail: being truly "street/black". I myself see N!tro as the scene answer to Martin Luther King.
So anyhow, while N!tro may be both making awesome crunk music, and challenging racial steriotypes, all is not good on the screamo crunk front, as i discovered a few mornings ago, checking out myspace, discovering one of the worst abuses of autotune yet: T Mills.
Now, I love autotune vocals, screamo crunk, Attack Attack!, gauged lobes and plenty of other shit, but this guy just seems to be taking it too far, into uncomfortable territory. He is like the practical joke that stops being funny, and ends in a hospital trip, and just like that, he made me have to stop for a second, and seriously re-evaluate my stance on both silly music and life. I am still not 100% on whether he is actually real, or some kind of creature from our collective ids, like a scene pyramid head, telling us what we could become if we arn't careful. He seems too ridiculous to be true, but both myspace and google search suggest otherwise.
So where to begin; despite the fact that the music is terrible, and has non of the flair of brokeNCYDE, 3OH!3 or my new fantasy bromance N!tro, he looks like some kind of Oli Sykes squared monster, with a terrible case of trying-too-hard-not-to-be-a-spoiled-white-pussy-so-gets-a-shit-load-of-body-mods. I myself, embrace my status as spoiled white pussy, it's who I am, and it means i'm probably going to be spending most my life in relative comfort, so fuck anyone who has a problem with it. Wish I had a massive trust fund too. There is not one element of this dude that isn't taken to a ridiculous extreme, its like he went into the "make your own scene kid" on the sims or something, and put everything on full.
I'm also terrifyed as hell to find out what his age is, because if he's younger than me, I will probably have yet another early onset midlife crisis. It also fucked me up to learn that Taylor Swift is younger than me too. As well as that now I can watch porn with chicks that are younger than me, something that has fucked me up for a while. I'm only 20 yet I already feel old and washed up, and full of regret. Needless to say, I kind of envy the guy, having such an easy marketing ploy. I think tryna make it in a death metal band has probably been the wrong option, shitty autotune music is obviously the way to go. It's way easier, a fucking robot practically sings it for you, and scene chicks fucking love the shit out of it. Fuck you T Mills, fuck you. I just hope you're fucking wrinkled, broke and pathetic by the time you're 40 (the ink should hopefully keep you out of most jobs), while I will be wrinkled, rich and pathetic, reeling in the wake of my second marriage, wondering what the fucking point of living on is. Actually, fuck, you'll probably somehow still be happier than me.
Anyway, here's some more N!tro, as mimed by some scene cutie, who's probably young enough to find me creepy. Actually, she kind of looks like this 17 year old chick the singer of my band was banging for a while, despite him being 25 (props bro!).
*MALTSTREAM - a term coined by Hipster Run Off, meaning, mainly mainstream, but with some alternative tenancies, I.E could like some alt music, wear slightly alt clothing, or whatever. Will probably do some kind of post about them laters, as I'm pretty sure Maltstream chicks are the best in every way.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
The fallout from this seemingly minor event has led to countless "Emmure vs The Acacia Strain" polls/forum posts, and many more people saying that both suck, violence is bad, yada yada.
We’ll give you more on the story if we get it. In the meantime, let’s hope this doesn’t end up with any East Coast/West Coast drive-by shenanigans."
"You must not have grown up in the hardcore scene. I was surprised it was just knuckles not a gun."
"My money’s on the white guy."
"who cares which ones better, as long as you can go to one of their shows and kick the shit out of people, i'm happy."
I Personally agree with the last quote. I also, despite being a fan of both bands, fully support the existence of the fight, and am glad that they have done this to support their tough guy hxc image. Much as I was syked about Will Rahmer from Mortician stabbing a cabbie in Poland, and the video of the guy from Himsa going apeshit on some dude, I love it when metal bands support their image of being badasses, as oppose to just being the nerdy guys the usually are. Just about all other genres ever seem to be more dramatic/eventful/violent than metal, which is quite dissapointing seeing as how metal's meant to be evil or some shit. Reggae festivals are meant to be dark violent places, full of stabbings and theft, wheras metal fests: middle class white kids as far as the eye can see complaining about sun burn.
Sporadic acts of violence like this up the baddass factor for the whole scene, and strangely seem to encourage respect from the wider world as well, as it shows we can "talk the talk". You look better for talking shit and fucking niggas up than just taking shit and being a spoiled white pussy like a wigger with a trust fund.
It could be that we are about to enter into an age where hardcore begins to resemble the early ninties rap scene, with drive-bys and whatnot. The hats are already being worn, and wigger culture is getting deeper and deeper into metal. Looking forward to a shoot out between Carnifex and Suicide Silence, and death metal bands being arrested for drug trafficing, albeit less embarressing than Brain Drill.
Also, the whole black metal thing dosn't count, as it wasn't sporadic violence, which is how true baddasses role, it was just gay metal theatrics taken way too far. No one thought it was cool and hardcore when a dead body was found in Michael Barrymore's pool with "Extreme Sexual Injuries", and black metal is the same. Simply gayness taken too far, in an attempt to prove itself.
Back in Manchester and it's fresher's week, which should mean going out and getting crunk, but had instead meant lying in bed listening to "The Diary" by Hollywood Undead and The Black Brokencyde, missing my girl-who-had-boyfriend-but-now-is-single-and-a-fresher-in-London-and-probably-getting-fucked-by-a-different-guy-every-night. I did half arsedly try to chat someone up at a party the other night, but ended up cba'ing, and then i think some other girl slapped me for some reason. Can't fully remember why. 5 more nights/chances then to live the 2nd/3rd/4th year dream of taking advantage of a "naive innocent" fresher...
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Got a pissed off call from her an hour later, saying "wtf!! Y?!?!? Nvr tlk 2 meh agn!!!" which i wish i had recorded, cos it would make a cool interlude or end of album thing, maybe with static noise in the background or something, like that one by Atmosphere. Then the next day ran into her while walking my dog. Apparently she dreamt she beat me to death and everyone hates her now, and also (probably made up) something about how she had to stop her (now ex) boyfriend from getting a lynch mob together and going all candyman on my ass.
Also got semi fucked up with some friends last night and recreated Blink-182's infamous "What's My Age Again" video with two other guys, through some Lancaster suburbs, causing a very shocked looking car to stop dead in its tracks, almost unsafely fast.......as you probably would. It was a good night!
On Saturday I bid farewell to my varied, subcultural and generally interesting friends to go back to good old monochrome student life, where everyone looks/acts/dresses the fucking same. Swarms of Akercrombe and Fitch, Horizontal stripes, and Topman, and conversation as varied as "shit, that was a tricky lecture" and "ohhhh fuck, I got so smashed last night, I'm so off the rails lolololol". Rarely do they do anything more fun than talk shit and puke though, a fight is probably the most interesting thing students tend to do when drunk. And even then, they're normally shit fights.
Anyhow, people bitch alot about how I shouldn't hate on students, and that (motherfucking plot twist!!!) I am one.
So here are my reasons for eying students with contempt.
1. I've already covered in great detail how everyone seems to have condensed into roughly the same person. My theory is that after having spent teenage years experimenting with various subcultures, scenes and whatnot, they have now decided that, as good middle class kids, middle of the road topshop/topman life is for them (also notice all the black people modeling on the topman website, this is a lie, topman is as racially diverse as the tour de france). Maybe i'm therefore just somewhat imature to remain some kind of hybrid scene/wigger/metal guy, but fucked if i'm gonna start wearing horizontal stripes now!
2. There's a lot of subtle racism. It's extremely subtle, and nothing as bad as the aforemensioned Candyman link, obviously, but still, watch the reaction of a group of tight knit middle class white kids when an indian/asian asks them something. They all look like they're biting lemons. It's actually pretty hilarious.
3. Opinion that anyone who hasn't gone to uni is worthless, and shouldn't be associated with. Again subtle, but there.
4. Fucking facebook! during termtime, almost everyone has display pictures of them, in some club, with 2 or 3 bland friends, looking like they're having an awesome time. Of course, normally when you go out with these groups they are pretty boring, bob along to the music a little, and then occationally one whips out their digital camera, and they pull crazy poses and thumbs up, to create an image of what fun they're having. Said Picture is normally up before the night is even over, via not actually being that drunk.
5. The fatness. Despite all loudly talking about going to the gym whenever anyone is near, by the end of year one, thanks to endless cheap bear and kebabs, the muffintop/overhang is as prevalent as ever, and several times during any lecture you can see people learning back to yawn, sending an avalanche of gut plummeting over their tight belt. Stuff You Will Hate's "Sargent D" will now explain further.
5. The knowledge that most likely every girl you meet, no matter how sweet and innocent she seems, is most likely something of a village bicycle who has been fucked every way imaginable in the past week. If she wasn't a hoe before uni, she will be by now. Just roll with it and try not to take anyone too seriously.
6. People like me, cunts who somehow think they're "above it", and cling onto some silly childish subcultural gimmick.....
Here's a cool list of student stereotypes i discovered, It is all 100% true. I'm pretty sure I'm a Night Owl/Sniper.
Anyway, I just discovered this blog got a fucking link to from Metal Inquisition, just as I posted my last embarrassingly "emo-as-shit" post, bad timing sarge! I really need to think of something better to blog about than being a bitter student scene kid.
Big move into new house tomorrow, back to the fucking jaws of Manchester! Last night beach (I use the word loosely) party tonight, hopefully something disasterous/funny/worth blogging about will happen so I can keep up the illusion on here that I have an interesting life! Won't have internet until Monday, so hopefully by then will have some housewarming stories of student debauchery! Piece!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Feelin pretty disillusioned and nihilistic right now...beginning to doubt whether it's possible for two people to genuinely connect to a degree beyond temptation and just be content with each other. Seen/been through too much emotional bullshit these last few weeks, plus thinking about some douchey PUA bullshit, invoking some pseudo science about how an exclusive relationship isn't "natural", and is pretty much a facade created by "beta males" to stop "alpha males" stealing their girls, as apparently is the "natural" order of things. Like unless you just fuck anything walking your way with a cunt you are inferior. The consensus is that relationships last until one party finds another partner more "genetically superior" than the current one, or just plainly get bored of each other. I'm pretty sure most parents I know exist in a state of toleration at best...the only exception being my own parents, who are pretty much the only ones who seem to have "made it work". about 60%-70% of my friends parents seem to have broke up anyway.
Seems that this generation, and maybe the one before have/have had too much social freedom and freedom of expression, and popular culture pressurizes everyone to be as promiscuous as possible, no matter what your age or marital status. It's cool to be the "player". The idea that a monogamous relationship means you are "tied down", and the amount of cynicism everyone seems to give marriage. Someone recently said to me that "a tattoo is a bigger commitment than marriage", I couldn't really think of a response.
Heard last night that my girl-with-boyfriend-who-I-thought-had-broke-up-with-boyfriend-but-now-apparently-hasn't got with a third guy on holiday in France last week, so I hastily and ham-fistedly tried to get with her best friend, resulting in crash and burn. Her friend was pretty cool with it though, I think she kind of sympathizes a bit, didn't sound too impressed with her friends recent actions. I think i just need stability right now, maybe I'm just fighting with the realization that I'm going retarded over the biggest nymph in town. Soon I'll be back in Manchester for the second year, and probably fucking as many sluts as I can to clear my head of this clusterfuck. Will that make me "alpha"? I get laid, I just can never hold down a relationship. Nomatter how alpha you are, theres always gonna be someone moreso, you're both just waiting for a better deal, like a broadband bundle. Writing my first acoustic singer/songwriter type song. Calling it "If you wern't a slut". Yeah, it sounds despirate, sexist and like teenage angst poetry, so fucking what. I'm self aware enough to save most things with the right degree of irony.
Sorry for the chud, promise next post will be about something funny like man crushes or blowjobs or spoofing metal. Piece.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Also, wanting to bugger Bill Kaulitz of Tokio Hotel does not make you gay.
I already touched on this one last post, and although I hate Sabaton, I couldn't help but include this guy. It's also noteworthy that this is the only guy in the list who actually looks like a chutney shunter. While he does look kina gay, like a token bear, what separates him from say, Manowar, who also look super gay, is the playful nature of his (visual) gayness. While Manowar never smile, and posture far too seriously, I get the Impression that unlike Joey Demaio, he realises that he does look pretty gay, and plays along with it for laughs. Also, I was chatting so Sargent D of Stuff You Will Hate and Metal Inquisition, who is a man with "wizard level game", and he says alot of girls think he's gay at first, and then bam! he's lovin them up to Hollywood Undead's "No. 5". Therefore I suspect old Joakim may have an ulterior motive for looking so homosexual. Either this or he actually is gay, in which case, as an attractive, gay looking male in a reasonably successful band, he will be like a homing beacon to any other gay power metal fans out there (there are more than you may think). The last alternative is that he has no idea about the gayness at all, and it is all simply the charming naivity that comes with being Swedish. Anyway, he's just so butch, playful, and fun to watch live I can't help but have developed a basic man crush on the guy.
Gay Relationship type: He would joke around alot and I would sigh and tell him to behave. In bed he would generally give it, then in the morning he would make me breakfast and make me feel special.
Being German automatically gets this guy extra man crush points, as well as being a sick guitarist and vocalist. I know the other guitarist in my band, who left for Greece to become the Karate kid yesturday, took with him a picture of Muhammed as a kind of fatherly figure to inspire/watch over him. Hes kind of been the central collective man crush of my band pretty much since the beginning, like the partner we always cheat on but then regret it and return to him. That's a pretty powerful crush, especially seeing as Necrophagist haven't actually released anything since 2004 (since 2006, every year, Muhammed has said that the new album will come out that year...so far, after 6 years, he has one new song to show for it) yet despite this, we remain mostly faithful.
Gay Relationship type: Muhammed is like the "fatherly" partner, who imparts his wisdom and learnings at the cost of what he calls "some sugar".
Something like brokeback mountain, with me as Jake Gyllenhaal, and him as Heath Ledger.
Hes some more classic stage banter
So yeah, awesome guitarist, producer, pinch harmonica, and stage banter pro.....pretty admirable no? You should want to fondle his balls. If you don't you're gay.
Gay Relationship type: Probably more of a kind of homosexual bromance, invisible to the naked eye.
I know many different straight males who talk openly about bumming Oli Sykes. He's just so damn androgynous and Scene he's practically female anyway. In fact if i was gay I probably
wouldn't give a shit, it's not as gay to rail guys who look like chicks anyway. He's pretty much only here because of his massive scene stigma. Apparently he's the only one in Bring Me The Horizon with any money, all because of that fucking clothes company.
Gay Relationship type: Ohhhh he would get reamed........
Gay Relationship type: Ohhhh I would get reamed........