Wednesday, June 30, 2010

99 Chan

So besides the ubiquitous 4chan, which is ur favorite chan?

Theres something lovely and grimey about all the other tiny ones in a kind of unloved, unwatched alley that you might get raped in kind of way.

Anyway, 99 chan just turned 2! And with that posted this rather amusing post on the front page.

So as of June 14 we are 2 years old. The past year was even crazier than the first. Here are some more numbers.

99chan by the numbers:

DDOS Attacks: 23

DMCA Takedown Notices: 922

Webhosts: 1

Domain Hijacks: 2

Pissed off parents: 42

Users Banned: 29,621

Times gununu has been banned: 1812

Users in jail: 7

Disk Space used: 94.98

GB Wordfilters: 43

Time Regs hasn't been high in the past year: N/A

Internal sabotoge attempts: 3

Suicide Attempts: 5

Staff Members Dead: 1

Actual Court Documents served: 3

awe ye

Love it when internet shit leaks into the real world, as long as it's an isolated, chaotic spontanious one off event, and not just some fags in those fucking masks.

Like when one of my friends found some guy posting asking for someone in Manchester to join him in kidknapping some girl, so somehow my mate tracked down the dude, took photos of him, then posted them along with all his other deats. Think they sent their findings to all his facebook friends or something equally life ruining too. Good times.

Anyways, happy birthday 99chan!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Summer Job :/

To "fundraise" for my upcoming trip to the US of fuckin' A so I can catch the warped tour with the rest of the SYWH crew, I am working this manual labour job with some contract gardeners. Because it is summer, this means mowing, and mowing and mowing, and doing all in my power, backed with a potent arsenal of hardcore garden tools, to prevent the growth of mother nature. Lucky, mother nature is pretty much shit-out right now, because the northwest is about to officially go into "drought" mode, enforce a housepipe ban, and generally let all the grass burn to death. This is good news however, because burnt grass dosn't need mowing, and I get to spend more time sleeping in a smelly van with two foulmouthed contractors who pretty much exist in order to oggle summer girls, via builder stereotypes. Luckily, they are also pretty averse to work too, so we generally just cut corners in order to spend max time sleeping in the van or any available comfy patch of grass. I think I fit in ok because of my mums "peasant blood" or something.

Still, having to start work at 7:30 is fucking rough, as is spending every night in the knowledge that you have to go to bed at a reasonable time. Life as a normal working person is pretty grim :/, its like, all of a sudden, boom!! there go 5 of my seven precious weekly nights :( fuck that!

Its cool though when there are keut doggys in Gardens im mowing:

Especially when they steal someone else's tuna sandwich:

Imminant builder rage...

I also came to the conclusion today on the drive home listening to Good Charlotte on the radio that "Girls and Boys" was written by an extremely embittered Joel Madden after some rich college kid stole some chick he was after. Fuckin' pop punk fgts.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

The "OG" Millionaires

Oh good lord!

And I thought The Millionaires seemed open for buisness...

Watching this feels like hiring a prostitute, then at the last moment realising you don't really want to do this, but it's too late and she's in your apartment, and pulls you down on top of her, and you try to get away, but she's freakishly street-strong, and proceeds to rape you, take money from your wallet, and leave you sobbing on the rug curled up in the fetal position.

Shoe + Gore = Hella Sickness

How sick are these fucking shoes! How could I not buy that!

Can't believe they would make shoes based on a retro Sega Megadrive (Genesis to you yanks) game, complete with faithful blood specs and a little replica mask.

It's also about to be remade, which I'm totally stoked for. I always found God of War a little too arbitrary, and recent Devil May Cry games have been kina ghey, so this fresh new hack and slash re-imagining should be a welcome addition to my brothers PS3 shelf!


Re-make, complete with token metal soundtrack:

Also, a pretty cool fan film, featuring some tribal tattoo'd guido as Rick:

Maybe if it does well they'll squeeze a film out of it. Considering the recent success of Prince of Persia and a couple of other videogame/comic franchises as movies, as well as the current vibe of horror and darkness for all, I can imagine someone taking note and doing that. Hopefully it's be silly, discusting and OTT, like a 2010 Evil Dead. It will fail if I don't dry heave.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Mixing two very different parts of your life for amusing effect

So today I was hanging out at the Mall with this girl, and remembered I needed to get some new warhammers.

Being that she was a socially normal, good looking, no real problems girl, she was kina wary of going to the Games Workshop, so I was all "it'll be fun, we can laugh all the nerdy people and stuff and make fun of how fat and skin hopeless everyone is but on a serious note I genuinely do need to get some Eldar for some games this summer". This approach worked, so we hopped over.

Upon arrival, she loudy said it smelt of sweaty guys, and then went up to a table and started bashing some space marines into each other pretending to make them fight, and generally taking the piss. This made the nerd in me rage slightly, but I was having a good day and it was kina funny, so I played along and let her do her thing.

The strange thing happened when I was buying my new models, and she playfully asked the guy working there what the big deal was with....well, everything.... Drawing upon an infinately limited knowledge of the opposite sex and a few stereotypes apparently based on Lindsay Lohan films, he hilariously tried to compare buying warhammer to buying shoes, in possibly one of the biggest ever acts of social seppuku I have ever witnessed. Seriously, any amount of predictable British comedy based on contrived awkward social situations had nothing on this guy.

There are some parts of your life you should just not mix, I've suffered disasters before when mixing students with scene kids, so I should have probably known better than having to put this poor dude through that ordeal. Now I'm ending the day by watching my dog trying to get his head around the concept of bearded Dragons for the umpteenth time.

Wednesday, June 09, 2010


Exams are over, so I guess I should go get crunk or something...