I Join Stuff You Will Hate! First post up nao!

It's no small fact that I propper dig SYWH, and am super syked to have been asked to write for them. As a scene kid on the older end of the young spectrum, and a person with reasonable intellegence, I feel that the blog speaks directly to me, and thus can't think of any better continuation of my blogging prowess.

But yeah, peep my debut post up right now, which was originally gonna be on here, but now I guess found a better outlet, about Hurry! Let's Go and my belated scene valentines playlist. I'll still keep Hyperviolence going, just syphon all my scene content into SYWH i guess.

Anyway, super stoked! Crunk tiems!

Set Your Goals covering Lil' Jon

Could this be the most wiggerific song going right now. Me thinks so. Listen to this before you go out and I guarentee you'll be droppin' fools left right and center, and grindin' the finest shorties. As you can see it's from some album called "Punk goes Crunk", also featuring such awesome shizz as Scary Kids Scaring Kids covering Notorious B.I.G, Forever the Sickest Kids covering Men in Black, Lorene Drive playing that sick ass Outkast song, and the Devil Wears Prada song two posts below.

Irony Update: 11/11/09

Its offial: Today, i begun enjoying the T Mills songs "Rich Girls" and "Girls Gone Wild" non ironically.......the rest still suck though.

When crunk kids arn't getting crunk: xbrokenxheartsxjamzx

edit: Fixed the formatting problem, and also added an extra vid on the end, thanks to a recommendation by Sargent D, cheers brah!

As any affectionardo of Screamo Crunk is aware, all songs of the genre fit squarely into 2 categories; Songs about getting crunk, and songs about having a xbrokenxheartx.

As winter makes its presence known in Manchester, and the nights get longer, the rain gets even more frequent, the sky somehow gets even greyer, I begin too see my own breath when I wake up, my level of apathy goes through the roof. Combine this with the pang of missing my regularly mentioned in this blog girl-in-London (formerly girl-with-boyfriend), who I recently visited, and had one of the best weekends of my life with, and the situation in my course being "shit just got real".

This was me and a small Asian friend of mine, about 2 days ago, on our new assignment

Basically, I'm feeling way too drained to listen to anything as kinetic as death metal or hardcore, and I cba going out and getting crunk most of the time either. This has reduced me to creating several playlists of the crappy songs on screamo crunk releases that you normally skip to get to songs like Freaxxx. So anyhow, here is my pick of screamo crunk songs to lie around feeling sorry for yourself to, based on my past couple of weeks.......


1. Hurry! Lets Go - Mayday Mayday

Sorry to whoever's holiday snaps these are, but this was the only version with lyrics I could find :(

Although it's actually chock full of gay little happy melodies, the rather middle of the road entry level xbrokenxheartx lyrics give it a strange new vibe, which lends a weird, "hey....it just is bro", feeling to it. Basically, it kind of glamorises however shit you feel, making you feel like a character in a film, thus lending you some slight hope, and making you feel slightly cooler at the same time.

2. N!tro - Running Away



Much more standard xbrokenxheartx vibe but this time with N!tro's trademark kooky lyrics ranging from quite clever and relatable to completely fucking silly. This one has such gems as "I wana leave on my Jetski, ride to the ocean so nobody can catch me, and throw my phone in the water so nobody can text me" and "you got me lost like a satellite travelling in another galaxy". Has extra value to me now after going home this weekend, "telling my mum about this shit", and her telling me to "find another girl".

3. brokeNCYDE - I don't know



It's pretty tricky to choose just one brokeNCYDE song, as pre-BC13 they have a seemingly endless supply of shamelessly self pitying songs which pretty much take emo to it's logical conclusion. It's quite surprising that they suddenly stopped respecting women and began to write the feel good crunk anthems we know and love them for. I could have easily chosen any of the others, as they're all pretty much the same. You know you're in a bad place when these lyrics no longer make you cringe. Seems to have some kind of autobiographical value for se7en, with the words "the dopest in rap but couldn't never focus on that, was too distracted by the smoke that was choking his past". Obviously even the most bro-like fun time screamo crunk MCs have issues and dark pasts they try to hide from!! Maybe the "get crunk" lifestyle is all just a show, because he's just been hurt too many times and all he really wants is to settle down and snuggle with his own lil scene love <3.>

4. Blood On The Dance Floor - Designed to Kill

It's been a good while before I've been embarrassed about liking anything, I mean, when you hang out with death metal fans and start reppin' brokeNCYDE and dot dot curve, it's gonna raise some eyebrows, but BOTDF have made me squirm in a way I'd forgotten how. Their flamboyant campness, scene hair, donkish beats, and next level tasteless lyrics make for a very bitter lemon indeed. This is pretty standard BOTDF affair, with a pretty chill chorus of the xbrokenxheartsx variety. It probably makes the list on the merit of being the only BOTDF song I'm aware of which has lyrics going beyond "suck my dick girl", into, ya know, feelings, and stuff.

5. dot dot curve :) - Rocket Ship To The Moon



Like all dot dot curve songs, the words are all a wtf!?! invoking meaningless blurrr of "I'm the sex" and "All you haters can SMB!". However, among their usual chaotic whirl of synth mashing, this song gives me quite a dark vibe, which suits the Manchester winter quite well. I've taken to wapping this on my mp3 player whenever I leave the house in my high-tops.

6. Hollywood Undead - The Diary



I expected freshers week this year to be much like the last, a whirl of parties, nights out, and alcohol, with the added bonus of being a second year. Instead, I slept alot, hung around miserably on facebook, and listened to this song, while missing girl-in-London, and all my friends back home.

7. Breathe Carolina - The Rescue



Breathe Carolina seem like the least creepy, most upstanding group here (exept maybe N!tro). All their songs are actually pretty heartfelt and there rarely seem to make immature references to getting head, so that alone makes them stand out. I just love the "Did we enjoy ourselfs, when we destroyed ourselfs". I'm probably gonna put this on a playlist for getting stoned with bros after a night out sometime.

8. The Medic Droid - The Killer Anna



I've been reppin' this song for wayyy longer than the others, and applied the lyrics to many, many girls I've had a thing with, then lost in the past couple of years. In fact I think this was the beginning of my whole screamo crunk thing, back when I still convinced myself that I only was into it "ironically".

So anyway, there ya go, a selection of jamz to keep you cold during the winter months, and provide an alternative to whatever other terrible music you normally listen too. If you're having trouble taking any of this stuff seriously, I would recommend listening while staring out a window when it's raining, and before long the ridiculousness will be lost, and you'll be applying every song non ironically to your own life and wishing you could "bro down", with Spanky from dot dot curve.

CODA:

This vid on youtube by play radio play also seems to pretty accurately convey what it is to have "scene" heartbreak, after Jennifer Jealousy or Becky Bruta1ity steps on your heart. Watched it the first time the other day and nearly fucking cried, no joke! All the cutesy phases childishly scrawled and the black and white photos of scene kids looking angsty or having "moments" together was just too much! The girl lying down staring hopeless at the silent phone was a particularly bitter pill.

Fights are Cool

As most people are now aware, and has been reported on various blogs over the past week or so, the respective singers from both Emmure and The Acacia Strain recently had a fight backstage at an Emmure gig somewhere in America, resulting in *citation needed* busted noses. Apparently the bands have been at feud since The Acacia Strain accused Emmure of ripping them off or something (which, lets be fair, they kina did a bit, not that I don't like them), then Emmure made "R2 Deepthroat", directed at The Acacia Strain's singer, "Vincent Bennett".



The fallout from this seemingly minor event has led to countless "Emmure vs The Acacia Strain" polls/forum posts, and many more people saying that both suck, violence is bad, yada yada.

"Whatever the case… is it weird that I think this kinda sucks? For me, at least, metal (and hardcore, if you consider TAS or Emmure hardcore) has always provided an outlet for violent and, um, let’s say “socially inappropriate” emotions, so that I won’t get into any actual fights. I’m happy to enjoy the entertainment of two dudes talking some smack on one another, but I’d actually prefer that it remain all talk.

We’ll give you more on the story if we get it. In the meantime, let’s hope this doesn’t end up with any East Coast/West Coast drive-by shenanigans."

- Metal Sucks

"You must not have grown up in the hardcore scene. I was surprised it was just knuckles not a gun."

- Sargent D, taking everyone back to school

"My money’s on the white guy."

"who cares which ones better, as long as you can go to one of their shows and kick the shit out of people, i'm happy."

I Personally agree with the last quote. I also, despite being a fan of both bands, fully support the existence of the fight, and am glad that they have done this to support their tough guy hxc image. Much as I was syked about Will Rahmer from Mortician stabbing a cabbie in Poland, and the video of the guy from Himsa going apeshit on some dude, I love it when metal bands support their image of being badasses, as oppose to just being the nerdy guys the usually are. Just about all other genres ever seem to be more dramatic/eventful/violent than metal, which is quite dissapointing seeing as how metal's meant to be evil or some shit. Reggae festivals are meant to be dark violent places, full of stabbings and theft, wheras metal fests: middle class white kids as far as the eye can see complaining about sun burn.

Sporadic acts of violence like this up the baddass factor for the whole scene, and strangely seem to encourage respect from the wider world as well, as it shows we can "talk the talk". You look better for talking shit and fucking niggas up than just taking shit and being a spoiled white pussy like a wigger with a trust fund.

It could be that we are about to enter into an age where hardcore begins to resemble the early ninties rap scene, with drive-bys and whatnot. The hats are already being worn, and wigger culture is getting deeper and deeper into metal. Looking forward to a shoot out between Carnifex and Suicide Silence, and death metal bands being arrested for drug trafficing, albeit less embarressing than Brain Drill.

Also, the whole black metal thing dosn't count, as it wasn't sporadic violence, which is how true baddasses role, it was just gay metal theatrics taken way too far. No one thought it was cool and hardcore when a dead body was found in Michael Barrymore's pool with "Extreme Sexual Injuries", and black metal is the same. Simply gayness taken too far, in an attempt to prove itself.

Back in Manchester and it's fresher's week, which should mean going out and getting crunk, but had instead meant lying in bed listening to "The Diary" by Hollywood Undead and The Black Brokencyde, missing my girl-who-had-boyfriend-but-now-is-single-and-a-fresher-in-London-and-probably-getting-fucked-by-a-different-guy-every-night. I did half arsedly try to chat someone up at a party the other night, but ended up cba'ing, and then i think some other girl slapped me for some reason. Can't fully remember why. 5 more nights/chances then to live the 2nd/3rd/4th year dream of taking advantage of a "naive innocent" fresher...

Well tumultuous last couple of days, shared a joint with my girls actual boyfriend after bumping into him on a run (turns out he lives pretty close), and came clean, no one's really ready for that, so he just kind of cycled off. I did it pretty badly too, afterwards going "errrr...so is that cool?" and giving a dumb thumbs up.
Got a pissed off call from her an hour later, saying "wtf!! Y?!?!? Nvr tlk 2 meh agn!!!" which i wish i had recorded, cos it would make a cool interlude or end of album thing, maybe with static noise in the background or something, like that one by Atmosphere. Then the next day ran into her while walking my dog. Apparently she dreamt she beat me to death and everyone hates her now, and also (probably made up) something about how she had to stop her (now ex) boyfriend from getting a lynch mob together and going all candyman on my ass.

Also got semi fucked up with some friends last night and recreated Blink-182's infamous "What's My Age Again" video with two other guys, through some Lancaster suburbs, causing a very shocked looking car to stop dead in its tracks, almost unsafely fast.......as you probably would. It was a good night!

On Saturday I bid farewell to my varied, subcultural and generally interesting friends to go back to good old monochrome student life, where everyone looks/acts/dresses the fucking same. Swarms of Akercrombe and Fitch, Horizontal stripes, and Topman, and conversation as varied as "shit, that was a tricky lecture" and "ohhhh fuck, I got so smashed last night, I'm so off the rails lolololol". Rarely do they do anything more fun than talk shit and puke though, a fight is probably the most interesting thing students tend to do when drunk. And even then, they're normally shit fights.

Anyhow, people bitch alot about how I shouldn't hate on students, and that (motherfucking plot twist!!!) I am one.

So here are my reasons for eying students with contempt.

1. I've already covered in great detail how everyone seems to have condensed into roughly the same person. My theory is that after having spent teenage years experimenting with various subcultures, scenes and whatnot, they have now decided that, as good middle class kids, middle of the road topshop/topman life is for them (also notice all the black people modeling on the topman website, this is a lie, topman is as racially diverse as the tour de france). Maybe i'm therefore just somewhat imature to remain some kind of hybrid scene/wigger/metal guy, but fucked if i'm gonna start wearing horizontal stripes now!

2. There's a lot of subtle racism. It's extremely subtle, and nothing as bad as the aforemensioned Candyman link, obviously, but still, watch the reaction of a group of tight knit middle class white kids when an indian/asian asks them something. They all look like they're biting lemons. It's actually pretty hilarious.

3. Opinion that anyone who hasn't gone to uni is worthless, and shouldn't be associated with. Again subtle, but there.

4. Fucking facebook! during termtime, almost everyone has display pictures of them, in some club, with 2 or 3 bland friends, looking like they're having an awesome time. Of course, normally when you go out with these groups they are pretty boring, bob along to the music a little, and then occationally one whips out their digital camera, and they pull crazy poses and thumbs up, to create an image of what fun they're having. Said Picture is normally up before the night is even over, via not actually being that drunk.

non of you are getting any tonight

5. The fatness. Despite all loudly talking about going to the gym whenever anyone is near, by the end of year one, thanks to endless cheap bear and kebabs, the muffintop/overhang is as prevalent as ever, and several times during any lecture you can see people learning back to yawn, sending an avalanche of gut plummeting over their tight belt. Stuff You Will Hate's "Sargent D" will now explain further.

5. The knowledge that most likely every girl you meet, no matter how sweet and innocent she seems, is most likely something of a village bicycle who has been fucked every way imaginable in the past week. If she wasn't a hoe before uni, she will be by now. Just roll with it and try not to take anyone too seriously.

6. People like me, cunts who somehow think they're "above it", and cling onto some silly childish subcultural gimmick.....

Here's a cool list of student stereotypes i discovered, It is all 100% true. I'm pretty sure I'm a Night Owl/Sniper.

Anyway, I just discovered this blog got a fucking link to from Metal Inquisition, just as I posted my last embarrassingly "emo-as-shit" post, bad timing sarge! I really need to think of something better to blog about than being a bitter student scene kid.

Big move into new house tomorrow, back to the fucking jaws of Manchester! Last night beach (I use the word loosely) party tonight, hopefully something disasterous/funny/worth blogging about will happen so I can keep up the illusion on here that I have an interesting life! Won't have internet until Monday, so hopefully by then will have some housewarming stories of student debauchery! Piece!

Me Now: Fuck Yes!

This morning I woke up, beat off, listened to Hollywood Undead, Necro, and Pantera, and now I'm about to put on some scene gear and get crunk! My girl-with-boyfriend fucked off to some festival yesterday night when we were meant to be meeting without telling me, so today i'm going all out, getting crunk, finding some other girl and broing down. I got a friends birthday party tonight too where we're gonna listen to the new Walls of Jericho album, hardcore dance, and probably listen to Attack Attack! and brokeNCYDE too! Then hit the fuckin town! Fuck yeah, tonight is gonna be sick! No bitch can bring me down!

Any of my 4 confirmed readers reading this, go listen to Everywhere I Go by Hollywood Undead, then get out there and get the fuck out of your comfort zone! What are your plans for tonight anyway...let me know bros, so tomorrow I can gloat that I had a better night ;)

A few days of random happenings and sightings

"Has the match defeated girls you have drunk?"


Or so I was recently asked by a Chinese girl I was added by on ICQ, in reference to girls at English house parties and drinking games. I have no idea what this girl defeating "match" is....nor quite why i'm getting accused of "drinking" girls.

Going to Manchester to record guitar the other week all went to plan, with one small hiccup........THE FUCKING TRAIN CAUGHT FIRE!!!! Yes, I was on the train, when suddenly some typical working class English "dad" type came running up to the ticket guy and said "Excuse me mate, that carriage is full o smoke", at which the ticket bro went "Shit, fire!" and ran in the opposite direction.

So we evacuated the fucker at Chorley, where the firemen came and saw to things, the station was shut down as such, and we were all stranded there for about an hour, before some other train took us back the way we came to Preston, and then back another way to Manchester. All in all, what should have been a 1 hour journey, became about 3 and a half.

During our panicy time in Chorley, which played out like an episode of lost, more or less everyone gathered round the poor ticket bro, who was trying to explain the situation, and shouted at him about why they have to be in Manchester on time, why their situation is more despirate than anyone elses, and why the trainline should have been more prepared and this was their fault. Some old women, who no doubt reads a tabloid, started up about how they "don't care about people", or something. This whole episode was made all the more unbearable by the fact that everyone had a working class manc/north-west accent, and the majority of the outraged were female, and so went into that shrill, treblely nasal voice women use when they have a moment of self righteous rage.



Noticed a textbook chubby Pete Wentz fan, who always ended up stood near me, and probably hoped i'd start a conversation. Also, while near her one time, i heard a noise I would recognise anywhere....it sounded like a retard hitting a series of pots and pans, punctuated with a shrill DA!.......DA!........DA! She was listening to St Anger on her ipod nano. Actually, it was more like a "worst of Metallica" compilation, consisting of all the shit off St Anger, Load, and something quite possibly off Death Magnatic, which i haven't given the time yet, and probably never will. Something in the world is going amiss when slightly scene chubby girls are listening to latter day Metallica.

There was also some geeky dude painfully hitting on a similarly dorky girl, which was quite sweet i guess....I wonder if he got her number.





So anyway, after recording guitar at a bro's home studio rig, I went out on Manchester with a friends birthday procession, the night was relatively without incident, however, I did run into the death metal guy I saw at brokeNCYDE, and he has a cute scene girlfriend....I think. I was like "dude, were you at brokeNCYDE?" and he was like "yeah man", and then his friend said that we suck, so I was like, "you won't understand, don't worry if its too deep for you"...actually, this always happens when i introduce people to BC13.

On monday hung out with a friend from Germany who was traveling round and had a 20 bag, so we went out and got mega stoned. Unfortunately, everyone else we were with had normal midnight I-better-get-to-bed-now-I-have-an-early-start reaction, but we stayed up and broed down untill about 4, getting really high.

Over the past few days, I have got so sick of the word Irony. Everyone's always so "oh, its ok, they're doing it Ironically", or "he likes brokeNCYDE, but I think he's being ironic". All the fucking time. People use it to excuse shit taste, or wear terrible clothes...or make shitty cultural jokes which have already been done to death. Stupid people say it all the time in the wrong context, clever people say it all the time in an annoying context. In the same way people used to always say "pretentious", today's word of the retarded middleclass teenage/student masses is "Ironic". I wear ott Osiris shoes because I like them, I listen to brokeNCYDE because I like them............fuck you all. If you like something, don't be afraid to admit it

Not seen my Girl-who-has-boyfriend since bloodstock :(...may try and work in some jealously trap like Tom Cruise mentions on Magnolia....doubtless it will prove to be a Monumental Failure.

I think i've figured out how to write a blog...it dosn't matter what your subject matter is, so long as you throw in plenty of alt-culture references, some fucking irony, plenty of links to silly pictures...and maybe voice an opinion that no one else has thought of yet....extra marks if its meant ironically.

I also noticed I seem to reference brokeNCYDE in every post.............Skeet Skeet

The more vulnerable portion of the population in Lancaster seem to be taking new, more extreme methods to protect from the swine flu menace. By more vulnerable I mean old, and by more extreme I mean some kind of portable bio-dome.