Sunday, August 23, 2009

A few days of random happenings and sightings

"Has the match defeated girls you have drunk?"

Or so I was recently asked by a Chinese girl I was added by on ICQ, in reference to girls at English house parties and drinking games. I have no idea what this girl defeating "match" is....nor quite why i'm getting accused of "drinking" girls.

Going to Manchester to record guitar the other week all went to plan, with one small hiccup........THE FUCKING TRAIN CAUGHT FIRE!!!! Yes, I was on the train, when suddenly some typical working class English "dad" type came running up to the ticket guy and said "Excuse me mate, that carriage is full o smoke", at which the ticket bro went "Shit, fire!" and ran in the opposite direction.

So we evacuated the fucker at Chorley, where the firemen came and saw to things, the station was shut down as such, and we were all stranded there for about an hour, before some other train took us back the way we came to Preston, and then back another way to Manchester. All in all, what should have been a 1 hour journey, became about 3 and a half.

During our panicy time in Chorley, which played out like an episode of lost, more or less everyone gathered round the poor ticket bro, who was trying to explain the situation, and shouted at him about why they have to be in Manchester on time, why their situation is more despirate than anyone elses, and why the trainline should have been more prepared and this was their fault. Some old women, who no doubt reads a tabloid, started up about how they "don't care about people", or something. This whole episode was made all the more unbearable by the fact that everyone had a working class manc/north-west accent, and the majority of the outraged were female, and so went into that shrill, treblely nasal voice women use when they have a moment of self righteous rage.

Noticed a textbook chubby Pete Wentz fan, who always ended up stood near me, and probably hoped i'd start a conversation. Also, while near her one time, i heard a noise I would recognise sounded like a retard hitting a series of pots and pans, punctuated with a shrill DA!.......DA!........DA! She was listening to St Anger on her ipod nano. Actually, it was more like a "worst of Metallica" compilation, consisting of all the shit off St Anger, Load, and something quite possibly off Death Magnatic, which i haven't given the time yet, and probably never will. Something in the world is going amiss when slightly scene chubby girls are listening to latter day Metallica.

There was also some geeky dude painfully hitting on a similarly dorky girl, which was quite sweet i guess....I wonder if he got her number.

So anyway, after recording guitar at a bro's home studio rig, I went out on Manchester with a friends birthday procession, the night was relatively without incident, however, I did run into the death metal guy I saw at brokeNCYDE, and he has a cute scene girlfriend....I think. I was like "dude, were you at brokeNCYDE?" and he was like "yeah man", and then his friend said that we suck, so I was like, "you won't understand, don't worry if its too deep for you"...actually, this always happens when i introduce people to BC13.

On monday hung out with a friend from Germany who was traveling round and had a 20 bag, so we went out and got mega stoned. Unfortunately, everyone else we were with had normal midnight I-better-get-to-bed-now-I-have-an-early-start reaction, but we stayed up and broed down untill about 4, getting really high.

Over the past few days, I have got so sick of the word Irony. Everyone's always so "oh, its ok, they're doing it Ironically", or "he likes brokeNCYDE, but I think he's being ironic". All the fucking time. People use it to excuse shit taste, or wear terrible clothes...or make shitty cultural jokes which have already been done to death. Stupid people say it all the time in the wrong context, clever people say it all the time in an annoying context. In the same way people used to always say "pretentious", today's word of the retarded middleclass teenage/student masses is "Ironic". I wear ott Osiris shoes because I like them, I listen to brokeNCYDE because I like them............fuck you all. If you like something, don't be afraid to admit it

Not seen my Girl-who-has-boyfriend since bloodstock :(...may try and work in some jealously trap like Tom Cruise mentions on Magnolia....doubtless it will prove to be a Monumental Failure.

I think i've figured out how to write a dosn't matter what your subject matter is, so long as you throw in plenty of alt-culture references, some fucking irony, plenty of links to silly pictures...and maybe voice an opinion that no one else has thought of yet....extra marks if its meant ironically.

I also noticed I seem to reference brokeNCYDE in every post.............Skeet Skeet

The more vulnerable portion of the population in Lancaster seem to be taking new, more extreme methods to protect from the swine flu menace. By more vulnerable I mean old, and by more extreme I mean some kind of portable bio-dome.


Anonymous said...

Another great post! I thought about how you and I are separated by the expanses of the Atlantic Ocean, and a single tear rolled down my cheek. Wish we could bro down and non-ironically listen to BC13.

Do you like Hollywood Undead??

Eyelicker said...

Haha, that would be sweet, the only time I get to listen to BC13 in a social setting normally is if I brow bead people into "c'mon, take it with a pinch of salt, don't take it seriously", although I have worn most of my friends down now. Oh yeah, and there was that time at Wacken in the van...

I got their album, but I normally only listen to Everywhere I go, but yeah, its ok, not quite as awesome as BC13 or Attack Attack!

Sometimes I feel as though I was meant to have been a NYHC kid, or at least a new jersey wigger. In a way I'm kind of like a transvestite, as i dress as something I clearly am not.

Anonymous said...

20 year old girls are often down with BC13 non-ironically, try playing it for them (preferably when you are both drunk and want to take your clothes off asap).

Give Hollywood Undead another try! The whole album is pretty great! You might be too young to appreciate the scummy, grimy vibe and theme of self-hatred. I didn't start seriously hating myself until my late 20s.

grobi wunder said...

it sounded like a retard hitting a series of pots and pans, punctuated with a shrill DA!.......DA!........DA! She was listening to St Anger on her ipod nano.
Dude, it didn't just sound like that... Where's the "really short danish people" tag on this one? :D

Eyelicker said...

or maybe a "really short mentally handicapped danish people" tag should be introduced