My past week and a half has actually been that song, thanks to the lovely (and loaded) yeahyouknowit from the SYWH fam, and her bank account, who decided to hop over to Manchester last thurday. This was her fucking hotel room!
That TV was the bomb, luckily I had my Aliens DVD on me for some reason, so I could stay up all night loudly reciting "They mostly come at night....mostly...." and "They're in the vents!!!!" preventing YYKI and most likely everyone else on the penthouse floor from sleeping till 3 am.
The next night, friday, my stangry friend Nevchrist came and chilled up, and we were gonna see Millionaires, but instead stayed in drinking jager way too late, missing the show and instead buggering off to Satan's which now lets us back in.
Saturday we saw brokeNCYDE and Jeffree Star in London, laughed at tube stops, and got further crunk. Also, it was disturbing to stand infront of a waddle of fat tween girls screaming at the top of their lungs "FUCK ME, IM A CELEBRITY". No thanks......
Shame that she had to go back, cos the power of me, her and nev was a scene force to behold! I knew she got some jelous looks from many of the regular scene bitches, who are no doubt glad she has gone home ;)
Anyway, life is normal and boring and sucks again, untill the summer, when hopefully going to the Warped tour with the rest of the SYWH fam! Bitches!
I think Americans are beginning to respect British people slightly more. Cheers to bros like Jason Statham, The SAS in Call of Duty, and the "Psycho" bro in Crysis, we seem to be being portrayed less and less as either cowardly villans, ppl who die, or hugh grant, and more as criminals or the SAS.
Think I'm gonna miss always being the villan
As we all know, criminals and the Army = Respect
H8 my parents right now for being baby boomers and fucking up the housing market, the economy, secondary education, wellfare and a ton of other things which means life's gonna be mega hard + mega debtful + dick high houseprices + dick high taxes to pay for the pensions of the same generation that fucked everything up so much, so they can keep living it up and blowing our inheritance. Fuck this, after uni I'm pissing off to America. Magoo the Masturbating dog remains the best thing in Cinema for decades... Wormrot is a fucking awesome band. I really wana check them out in some filthy bar in Singapore sometime, if I'm ever there. One of my bff's is Singaporean too, and said I can totally crash his whenevs.
Is it just me, or are scenebros getting more and more inbred hick looking/acting. JT Lloyd, DDC, and following T Mills on twitter is pretty much just an hourly reminder that he smokes dope. I heard you the first time bro. Guess I felt pretty baddass and wanted everyone to know too...when I was like 14. Then again, Americans have always seemed rather "all show and no go" when it comes to drugs and alcohol. Prolly your 21 drinking age which makes you such exhibitionists. #shutupandtakeit. Coke remains the naffest drug going, followed by Methadrone which Hipsters in Manchester seem to have swept up as the wallet friendly coke alternative. Weed clocks in at 3rd, thanks to T Mill's fucking Twitter.
It's the goddamn cutest thing ever when a girl turns you down. Its kina customary to get pissy as hell when this happens, loose all your dignity, and go write awesome deathcore songs. You look like a fucking tool and loose major cred though, chill bro. Most of the time, even if they think they are, they arn't serious about it (within reason, if she starts screaming or running away you should probably let that shit go). MB its like a test or something, whevs. So many awesome memories of chicks trying to "put their foot down" and be serious by turning their face or pushing me away, trying not to smile. Kina sucks to get with someone with zero effort in a way (via "T-Rex wants to hunt, not be fed" #JurrasicParkQuotes). Mb thats why I used to dig chasing girls with boyfriends so much. "No" is a fucking cute word, trumped only by "But I have a boyfriend...". Anyways, a cute as fuck scene balloon recently decided I was the best thing since internet porn, so I'm more than happy to let all that shit go (via srs relationship).
Have done fuck all over the past week but spend 90% of the time procrastinating and playing video games, and the rest studying. I think tomorrow I will diagnose myself with ADD. Fuck.
I thought the mannerisms on this forumspring question looked too familiar, and then it hit me!
Both of them use question marks instead of saying "question", and both use the word rediculous! The "hah" and "bro", also seem kina indicative of the Millster, so maybe!
Well, probably not, but it's an amusing idea that after reading the damning review that my stangry friend wrote in which he esentially did little more than repeatedly call T Mills a cunt, and that he is somehow inexplicably representative of many bad things, that Mills himself has taken an interest in Nevchrist, and is descretely watching from afar. Indeed, it could be Mills who repeatedly asked of him the question "why are you such a cunt", in some kind of reversal of "cunt", turning his own words against him. I guess it's Nevchrist's move now!
So recently I've been tots getting into this awesome US reality show, Jersey Shore. The basic premise, for everyone who is not American, is fill a house with those funny orange people you probably know from various internet pictures, and just let them do their thing, knowing that their natural stupidity/ego/lack of self awareness will lead to some mad entertaining situations and some absolutely pro quotes.
From what I gather, the program gets quite a lot of flak for being kind of low brow (lets face it, The Wire it ain't) like all reality shows do. I mean yeah, most do suck, and are generally boring as hell, but something about Jersey Shore actually strikes me as genuinely quite decent TV. Although I can only really speak from an English perspective on the subject, most of the reality shows here suck so much because the people are generally just shit boring and are either focused on too much or not enough. Plus there's something about stupid English people talking to the camera that just tanks.
This qualifys as highlights, no fighting, no drinking, no fist pumping, no orange
But yeah, the way Jersey Shore pans out actually works really well, other reality shows take note!
Firstly, it's a given that you actually hate everyone, and you do, for at least the first hour or so. The makers have pretty much banked on this, combining the natural prejudice against reality show contestants with the universal hatred/mockery of "Guidos" (a phenomena I am yet to experience first hand, although am totally thinking about hitting up the Jersey Shore sometime). They begin by exploiting the Guidos natural guidishness, showing them packing their cars with rediculous amounts of hair products, fake tan, whey protein, and other such artifacts of Guid.
However, as things progress, personality's further than "I work out 5 times a week and I like to parrrtttyyyyyy!" begin to emerge, as well as various amusing conflicts and relationships. So far this sounds kina standard, but there is something about the setting, the sheer egos and aggression involved, and the general hilarious stupidity of most involved that make Jersey Shore hella more entertaining than any other reality show I've seen before. The characters, while their likability and integrity may be rather questionable, do play off each other in a very entertaining way, and they do manage to actually go through with some decent drama fodder such as fighting and bringing chicks home on the regular. One episode of Jersey Shore has probably more drama content than an entire series of Big Brother or any other UK pseudo-celebrity snooze fest. And that's another thing, the UK tends to use reality shows as a vehicle for the same old dull celebs to tred water in an endless cycle of public mockery and Heat magazine type fame, instead of delving into the actual public, where you can find people who are far more interesting to watch, before the fame gets to them and renders them shit boring. (For this reason kina skeptical about season 2 of Jersey Shore).
So anyway, I was thinking, while Guidos and their drama makes for all kinds of amusing TV, there's another group of people who are that much more real to me, that could also do all this crazy shit and make some silly show with it! Scene Kids of course! While it could quite easily just end up being a group of depressive lamos hanging around on stickam on their parent's macbooks pouting for various photoshoots in a bid to try and look much more fun than they actually are, I think the mix of well known scene "characters" I have drafted up (with some pointers from the esteemed yeahyouknowit) shall ensure that a full, drama filled time will be had by all involved!
After running it by VH1 on Friday I've been assured we can start filming this fall, for an early 2011 release date! So here are my ideas for the most explosive mix of scene fgts for my new reality show "Crunk Shore":
T Mills(autotuned crunk fgt)
So yeah, this was probably the most obvious choice, seeing as how much I love this prick and his god awful/awesome brand of super auto tuned crunkcore. Partly I just wana put the bro to the test, and see if he can "walk the walk". I guess I kina expect him to be like the scene "The Situation" (with scene kids, tats are the equivalent of the Guido's abs), and live up to his lyrics of pulling "Rich Girls" and the like. Although I always wondered, looking like he does, I'm sure he would have a hard time getting most rich girls to take him seriously (and most human beings in general), seeing how the girls he describes sound painfully mainstream, instead of the "alt hoes" you would expect. Then again, i guess he can probably pull the old "bad ass" trick, which can snare boring girls for roughly a week before the novelty wears off.
Mellisa Millionaire (Millionaires)
A female counterpoint to T Mills, and a scene girl who actually gets the concept of fun. She would totally hit the town every night, to, if Millionaires lyrics are anything to go by, break hearts and take names! Plus I think it would be pretty amusing to see her puking into the toilet every morning, bits of regurgitated pizza getting caught in that lovely big hair. There could also be a special episode where the rest of the Millionaires girls come up, and T Mills and Se7en go retarded running around trying to impress them, while Kiki gets all butthurt over the lack of attention and breaks a plate or something.
Se7en (brokeNCYDE)
Do I really need to explain this one? Also needs to be put to the test, to see if he gets as crunk as he says he does.
Kikikanibal(internet brat)
So while people who are actually fun and likable are all good, I thought it would also be necessary to throw in a self obsessed drama queen to be a general bitch/hate figure. After every dude in the house hits on her relentlessly before getting sick of her bullshit, she would then start to have regular stress outs whenever the dudes bring any new chicks home. Would also probably have long emotional session with the other girls and tell them how they're "like a sister to me", before turning on same girl when they talk to the wrong guy or actually try and have fun because she's just being an annoying little bitch.
Johnny 3 Tears (Hollywood Undead)
While he isn't really overtly "scene", and more "wigger" (although the two are closely linked) I figured the house would need at least one dude who would be up to genuinely throwdown when some drunk dude in a club starts flicking Mill's lobes or leering all over Kiki. Plus he would probably at some point in every conversation say shit like "You don't know what hardcore is! I was in prison dammit!!" and be a source of other such lolquotes. I'm pretty much banking on him starting fights when they go out, based purely on HU's "scummier than most" image.
Amor Hilton (Internet brat/Model)
Would probably assert that she is "above" all this, not have fun, try and act like she thinks intelligent people act, make a fool of herself, and get pregnant about a week or so in.
Dahvie Vanity (Blood On The Dancefloor)
As much as I dig BOTDF, I can't help strongly dislike this bro for being chubby, socially awkward, creepy as hell, and possessing of the annoying type of Jeffry Star (who I genuinely hate) esque self obsessed narcissism. Basically a male counterpoint to kiki, but without being attractive enough to back it up. Who knows, maybe he is actually kind of fun irl, but he strikes me more as the type to creep all over drunk girls before proclaiming an eventual grope/passed out make out as "scoring". I would love to see him hastily appologise and backtrack like hell with that eerie soft voice of his though when someones boyfriend takes issue with his creeptastic ways.
Kristen Randell (Winds of Plague)
Although I actually know fuck all about her personality, I sense she would probably be one of the more down to earth ones, whos purpose would be to protect Mellisa from drunken rape/hold Johnny back/make Dahvie leave chubby underage girls alone/tell kiki to get the fuck over herself. Kind of like a mediating influence on everyone else's irresponsibility. I have no idea why I think this is what she'd do, it's just the vibe I get. Also, peep the first Google image result of her name (via scene boobage).
Sick couple of weeks going out too much, not working enough and chilling the fuck out! You know it was a good night when you wake up with a hangover and see a scantily clad scene chick on your computer checking her Facebook and playing The Devil Wears Prada on youtube.
I had no idea TDWP were this generic emo looking, don't think that kina hair's in anymore bro!
Discovered this absolute cuntbag the other day. I remember when I first discovered T Mills (what the fuck is his new haircut btw, I had that when I was seven!), and I thought he seemed like a total douche, yet I still felt a weird kind of affection for him, cos he was so fucking ridiculous and just screamed out "trying too hard!". Anyway, this is Jakewolf, he's like the budget T Mills, with less/crappyer tats, worse production, less of a following, and possibly the worst lyrics in screamo crunk to date. If you have ever noted any screamo crunk lyrics you will realise this is no mean feat, and is tantamount to something like worst fatal car crash, or worst nuclear holocaust. Add the midrange high production and his girly voice makes it really quite an endurance test to listen to.
Oh Yeah, and he has the symbol for the World Health Organisation (or WHO) tattooed on his neck. I've seen some pretty regrettable tats in my time, but this one totally takes the scene biscuit! After a little investigative journalism (posting a question on his youtube comments), a reliable source (a youtube comment poster), informed me that it was because he has Diabetes, and the symbol is on the insulin packets. Now, I understand that we should be thankful for the organisation that, so far, has prevented swine flu, sars, bird flu, and god knows what else ravaging our lands and people (although they are responsible for keeping Jake Wolf alive, which kind of puts them in a morally neutral position), but isn't there a more useful and less future destroying way to show this appreciation? like becoming a doctor, instead of getting a "keut" tat. At least he didn't get one of Wilfred Brimley.
At least Wilford Brimley got some money from being a walking advert for insulin!
On the subject of tattoos/destroying your future, I noticed he has ink on his face, neck and hands, but more or less no where else. All the tattoos are pretty simple and probably didn't cost that much, and likely have other flimsy, hastily thought out reasons of being there. I noticed this recently with scene kids, the current trend seems to be inking up the most visible areas possible, hands, neck, face and whatnot first. I know this little scene dude in Manchester who's just got one hand and his upper chest done, and then there's this guy. It's like its become a race to see who can destroy their future/become unpresentable as quickly as possible for the least money (actually, that kind of sums up all alt culture). If that's true, then Jake Wolf, with his brand of budget screamo crunk and embarrassing cheap tattoos, certainly wins. Hi Five Bro!!!
Obviously though, not everyone views this cunt with the same disdain I do (and seriously, every picture I see, combined with that whiny fucking girl voice, make we wanna deck him something fierce), because he has managed to land himself arguably the most sought after prize in scene world, the hot, yet fucking irritating Kikikannibal.
If you don't know her, she makes shitty fucking jewellery, is a vegetarian, and self centred scene queen. She's also kina hot I guess. For some reason, she also happens to be really famous. I myself, am waiting for her brief spell of beauty to end, and for her to inevitably become just another lonely crazy old cat women, confused and angry about where her status went. I recently tried to watch one of her videos, but just couldn't take it after about 5 seconds, pulled the cat face, and had to go shove forks in my eyes.
The combination of these next level teen scene train wrecks is surely a sign of the coming scene apocalypse. I hope they have kids. Imagine how fucked up they'll make them. The shits gonna hit the fan when T Mills hooks up with Melissa Millionaire(who incidentaly seems much more fun/legit/genuine/probably a better lay than Kiki, also didn't realise that Dani has gauged lobes, which is pretty ace, chick I mentioned at the beginning had them too, turns out they don't smell of cheese).
I will begin this "series", as such, with "Gauged Lobes", and try to understand the hatred surrounding them.
I think it wouldn't be unfair to suggest that a big factor in the resentment Job For A Cowboy have to face on a daily basis is their bass players lobes...........and ginger hair/beard combo.
It is hard to pinpoint exactly why metal dudes hate this. I have a journalistic gut feeling that there must be something deeper at play here than simply resenting their affiliations with scene kids. Of course, look on many of the "Why deathcore sucks!" articles/youtube videos around the place and you'll find plenty of disparaging comments about them. All I can really think is that the dudes who have gauged lobes tend to be the most fun loving, hella mass chill bros in the deathcore bunch, who are normally completely oblivious to any haters they may have. For this reason, I think the majority of metalheads, making angry blogs/youtube videos, both fear and despise them the most. They won't even get angry and provide anyone with more ammunition.
Hella Cute!
I'm kina thinking of getting some myself at some point, but this scene bro I know had a girlfriend with them, and tells me that they smell of cheese. In a bad way. Plus dunno if can be arsed with the hassle of having fuck off holes in my ears whenever i'm not wearing them. Dunno how that would go down in a job interview after uni, although apparently they heal so long as you don't stretch too fast. Anyway, I'll sign off with everyones favorite scene douche bro with gauged lobes, T Mills, who is quickly becomming synonymous with this blog. Sorry, I just can't ignore him. He's just so rediculous I can't help but love him and his terrible music :)
I recently went and hung out with some generic metalhead friends I have, as part of Manchester University's rock society. I hang out with them, mainly, to simply play up my sceneness, insult power metal, call Manowar fucking gay as much as I can, and big up deathcore and wigger slam (the latter of which I use to remind them that I am actually into heavier shit than everyone in the room). For this reason, I am pretty much an expert on things that get metalheads hot under the collar, and would push them to violence, if they weren't nerdy pussy's who don't want the embarrassment and following exile getting decked by a Scene Kid would mean. Especially seeing as when we aren't present they go all tough guy about "slaying posers".
Anyhow, it was a pretty sick night, I hung out, made new friends, trolled some fat tub of goo, scoped some of the tasty new fresher chicks in the society, including one who I made out with, but wouldn't let me in after as I discovered, her (hopefully generic scene hating metalhead) boyfriend was in the flat. This was after I had said earlier, jokingly, to some other metal dudes, that the only reason they hate scenies is because we steal their chicks. I got the idea from the end of the brokeNCYDE album.
If you are a generic metal dude, that last paragraph should already have you seething with rage, with brokeNCYDE being the icing on the cake. Now understand that I know what I'm taking about. I know how to make you rage.
Of course, making metalheads rage is very much like making the Westboro Baptist Church rage. If you don't conform to a very strict set of diktats, someone will probably call you fag. Because of this, it's hardly a tricky task, but it is a rewarding one nevertheless.
"In my apartment, you can see everybody's shared Itunes, and this is what I found while creeping one day. I don't know who this "Eric Doll" person is, but he fails at music so hard I can barely believe it. 80 minutes of Brokencyde? When I got to that part, I was reminded of Bender's quote from Futurama "Someone please kick his ass!" NOTE: Eric, if you ever read this, I have nothing against you personally. But God is your music awful. And for the record, Bring Me The Horizon is not metal in any way, shape or form, and certainly not thrash. Listen to some Kreator or some Exhorder, then you will understand what real thrash is."
This Eric guy sounds like my kina bro, brokeNCYDE and BMTH?! Beats the hell out of some generic outdated thrash! Hell yeah man, although I got three and a half hours of brokeNCYDE, so I outbro you there. We should hang out sometime and steal this guys girlfriend.
Here is another gem of metalhead rage I found recently, I swear by the end I could feel the guy's cheeto breath on my face and smell his B.O. I had to back away from the screen. It all just seemed far too real, the greasy hair, the rumbling of the spit in his throat...Afterwards I sprayed some oust round the room and tried to get back to business.
Now would you rather hang out with him? or these? (I'm not sure, but I suspect, that they might be Attila fans, which would be sick, because I'm yet to meet someone else who doesn't hate that band)
So, how do you like to annoy metal folk? Any good stories or links? As easy as it is, it is actually a very rich and rewarding experience, and I urge anyone to do it. From claiming that BMTH are more technical than Origin on youtube, to telling people that Manowar are fucking gay, I guarantee that you will enjoy it. I also now have a use for T Mills :)
It is lovely when people pay attention to things you do, whether it be music, sport, or donk, and so I would like to send a big up once again to my partner in appreciating embarrassingly bad music Sargent D, for reppin' this blog on Stuff You Will Hate. If you are reading this you are either Paul, who is my only friend who knows of the blog (when the fuck we publishing the next headbang!?), Big D himself, or someone who clicked one of D's links. In any case, welcome, sit back, and grab a crunk juice (not actually available in the UK (yes, I fucking checked) so any energy drink will suffice). Now I have been linked to on both Metal Inquisition and SYWH, I might as well just destroy my router and go outside. As far as casual pointless achievements go, this is pretty fucking high.
I'm also glad that I alerted D to my horrific unearthing of T Mills. As far as discoveries go, this is like the scene equivalent of the beginning of The Exorcist. Now there may be a new whipping boy to mock, make references to, and ask the question "is this guy for real?". Soon music nerds the internet through will look back with fondness on the days when all they had to worry about was brokeNCYDE and Cryptopsy going Deathcore. Now a new age of nerd rage could very well be upon us. Subcultures are moving so fast nowadays that most likely within 6 months brokeNCYDE will no longer be relevant and I will be bitter and jaded, complaining to T Mills fans on youtube videos about how he "dosn't have the feeling that BC13 had back in the day", in a ridiculous parallel to old metal dudes getting sore about deathcore metaphorically stealing the chicks at their party.
It is probably worth a note that while brokeNCYDE do mainly appeal to teen scene chicks, they do have a few male fans, normally sleazy creepers like me, but a notable male following nevertheless. T Mills is almost entirely female followed. While guys, when they really like music, will break down the technical aspects so they can convincingly argue that their opinion is right, and probably form their own bands that copy the originals, girl super fans will draw some incredibly retarded looking sketches of you, and film themselves talking in a monotone voice along with your music in a youtube video, while giggling and holding a cat who is clearly as horrified as me at this whole thing, and just really, really wishes he was somewhere else.
So would you or not? I think naked to the right would get a poke, whereas the cat molester would probably need some serious deliberation/hard liqueur.
You can tell poor John never wanted this. Just look at his poor cat face.
This expression of confusion/terror/indignation at being fondled by a chubby girl who is probably too old to be listening to some scene douchelords gay little project, is actually almost a perfect replica of how I looked when I first saw T Mills, and for that I see this tortured soul as a kindred spirit. In fact, I think I'll dig back, and draw one more cat picture that sums up my T Mills face even more accurately.
As I have mentioned him before a few times, although never using his actual moniker of N!tro, i thought it was high time to honor the brother with a full post, kind of.
Expert sagging, those sweet checkered vans, post-shutter shade UV protection, and black.....dyaaam!
He's kind of a bit like 3OH!3, but with better production, and more street cred (through being black). He also just did some kina colab with those cunts from dot dot curve or something, and some ugly scene douche called J Bigga.
Scene wiggers actually seem to know genuine black people now, even if they do just act hella white around them.
J Bigga is also known for this video, recently featured on look at this fucking hipster in which he brings a scene element to crazy youtube conspiracy theorist culture.
So anyway, I fuckin jam out N!tro all the time since rapidsharing his album, I would have probably paid, had it been available anywhere but itunes, but it isn't, and apple can smb. Got some pretty terrible/awesome/relatable lyrics too, in a bullshit scene kid kina way, seems to quite accurately convey romance in a kind of alt teen setting, referencing facebook, myspace top friends, txting and all that other passive aggresive bullshit.
Anyway, heres probably his most popular song, and the one which introduced me to the reality of black people being aware of/being scene kids. We all kind of guessed that there must be at least one out there, maybe you even saw one on a google image search when you were bored, but they never seemed truly real, in the same way komodo dragons arn't really "dragons".
Despite being obviously kind of middle class, having more in common with, say, Kanye West than Mobb Deep, the dude still strikes me as a hella mass chill bro. I wish I had more friends like him, or any black friends at all for that matter, at the moment the best i really have are some maltstream* azns, so the idea of a black scene dude really gets me going.
Also, if you step into the photo section of his myspace, you unlock an incredible new world, where many more non-white scene kids come out of no where, and scene is no longer simply the persuit of pale bulimic suburban white kids.
.....and if that didn't turn things around enough for you, in this crazy world of opposites that N!tro seems to be creating from his bedroom, the white scenes are all red puffy, chubby and rather retarded looking creatures, as we see by this monstrosity.
Feels good that screamo crunk could be becoming some kind of subcultural utopia, with an equal racial cross section. This may simply be due to the fact that all scene kids/scene wiggers are pretty middle class, by which black middle class people are also sort of wiggers too, in that they are just as alien to the inside of a Mobb Deep lyrics sleve as white middle class kids, but feel like they have to live up to that image anyway, therefore, racial devide becomes completely meaningless, as everyone works together to chase that golden grail: being truly "street/black". I myself see N!tro as the scene answer to Martin Luther King.
So anyhow, while N!tro may be both making awesome crunk music, and challenging racial steriotypes, all is not good on the screamo crunk front, as i discovered a few mornings ago, checking out myspace, discovering one of the worst abuses of autotune yet: T Mills.
Now, I love autotune vocals, screamo crunk, Attack Attack!, gauged lobes and plenty of other shit, but this guy just seems to be taking it too far, into uncomfortable territory. He is like the practical joke that stops being funny, and ends in a hospital trip, and just like that, he made me have to stop for a second, and seriously re-evaluate my stance on both silly music and life. I am still not 100% on whether he is actually real, or some kind of creature from our collective ids, like a scene pyramid head, telling us what we could become if we arn't careful. He seems too ridiculous to be true, but both myspace and google search suggest otherwise.
So where to begin; despite the fact that the music is terrible, and has non of the flair of brokeNCYDE, 3OH!3 or my new fantasy bromance N!tro, he looks like some kind of Oli Sykes squared monster, with a terrible case of trying-too-hard-not-to-be-a-spoiled-white-pussy-so-gets-a-shit-load-of-body-mods. I myself, embrace my status as spoiled white pussy, it's who I am, and it means i'm probably going to be spending most my life in relative comfort, so fuck anyone who has a problem with it. Wish I had a massive trust fund too. There is not one element of this dude that isn't taken to a ridiculous extreme, its like he went into the "make your own scene kid" on the sims or something, and put everything on full.
I'm also terrifyed as hell to find out what his age is, because if he's younger than me, I will probably have yet another early onset midlife crisis. It also fucked me up to learn that Taylor Swift is younger than me too. As well as that now I can watch porn with chicks that are younger than me, something that has fucked me up for a while. I'm only 20 yet I already feel old and washed up, and full of regret. Needless to say, I kind of envy the guy, having such an easy marketing ploy. I think tryna make it in a death metal band has probably been the wrong option, shitty autotune music is obviously the way to go. It's way easier, a fucking robot practically sings it for you, and scene chicks fucking love the shit out of it. Fuck you T Mills, fuck you. I just hope you're fucking wrinkled, broke and pathetic by the time you're 40 (the ink should hopefully keep you out of most jobs), while I will be wrinkled, rich and pathetic, reeling in the wake of my second marriage, wondering what the fucking point of living on is. Actually, fuck, you'll probably somehow still be happier than me.
Anyway, here's some more N!tro, as mimed by some scene cutie, who's probably young enough to find me creepy. Actually, she kind of looks like this 17 year old chick the singer of my band was banging for a while, despite him being 25 (props bro!).
*MALTSTREAM - a term coined by Hipster Run Off, meaning, mainly mainstream, but with some alternative tenancies, I.E could like some alt music, wear slightly alt clothing, or whatever. Will probably do some kind of post about them laters, as I'm pretty sure Maltstream chicks are the best in every way.
White, middle class, English male living in Manchester. A self aware, post ironic scene kid, documenting the cultural contour lines, and the trials and tribulations they bring. Also, chilling the fuck out!
That TV was the bomb, luckily I had my Aliens DVD on me for some reason, so I could stay up all night loudly reciting "They mostly come at night....mostly...." and "They're in the vents!!!!" preventing YYKI and most likely everyone else on the penthouse floor from sleeping till 3 am.
