Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Friday zaster: Fail Mountain

This friday involved a myriad of poor life choices from yours truly, starting with drinking vodka while studying in the morning before an exam. What started as a mere swig to simply "take the edge off", grew steadily into many swigs to tackle many edges, and before I knew it, I was DGAF'ing instead of studying, and live-tweeting said downfall.



The exam went pretty poorly, as one may expect, at one point I tried to make myself puke by fingering my throat so I could get out and maybe be able to do it again in a more capable state, but it lead to nothing other than a sharp retching noise, causing some slight attention and embarressment, so I just put my head down and tried my best to regurgitate some kind of knowledge onto the page.

Luckily it was just some bullshit module with little credit worth, so if you were gonna be drunk for any it would be that one, which was lucky. But as most of my uni friends reminded me, apart from my azn, who just giggled, drinking and exams is never good.

After the exam I happened upon a few scene friends I'd not hung out with for a while, and continued to get fucked up in canal street, Manchester's "gay quarter", as the majority of our little group of alts happened ghey/les. It turned into a surprisingly decent day, I made new friends, got drinks bought for me [via Rich(er) Girls] and managed to safely pass out in my bed at 9pm sharp, giving me plenty of time to get my system/head clean for revision the next day.

Also learnt during my travels that one of the scene bros was some kind of minor scene youtube celeb (3006 subs :/), which was kina amusing, via silly pointless vids of ugly English people.


5 unabridged minutes of morbidly obese classless British scene fail: courtesy of "Chloe Carnage"


You don't even know meeeeee!

Also included was the obligatory "stop judgeing us!" video that all internet alts have to have, after getting butthurt when someone calls them gay. Kina redundant, especially seeing as how the internet is just pretty much a big room that you walk into and everyone calls you a fag.

Anyway, apparently the dudes kina embarressed about it now, and dosn't make them, so I might, if I get a chance, try and convince him to start again (via sucking up) just for the hell of it :/. If anything it should produce some more potential lolfests. I ran into him once before very briefly via a mutual friend, and he seemed decent enough, if not a little camp. One of those people who can't really speak without making wild arm movements.

Anyway, speaking of internet things you later regret when you get older, I appear to have found the alt Mclovin on myspace. Amusingly enough it was through a picture comment his girlfriend left on JT Lloyds myspace, saying she was jelous of his girlfriend.

Gross hair? Pre-pubescant mustache? Sideways Piece sign? Hat Tilt? Damn son! You're livin' the dream!

There are too many awesome pics of this wonderful little wigger to choose just one, but anyway, here are some of the best. It's like this guy is a one man edition of Wigged and Confused.

we are all very impressed with your collection of shitty $100 guitars. And your doubel chin pose.

Nomatter how hard they try, some people can never get past the "nerdarms", and that awkward way they hang slightly forward

This'll show her!!! lololol, with the caption "You know who you are".

Everything becomes clear.

Love how myspace is now a pool of dumb poor, often OTW teenagers now. It's like, everyone else left to go to facebook, and now it's been condensed into some kind of internet equivalent of Australia, where all the reprobates and undesirables get shipped off too.


Sunday, May 23, 2010

Tumblr is Rectal Anarchy

I have a tumblr now. Guess this means I can slowly forcefeed my massive folders of internet pictures and sick/funny shit back into the internet like a giant sewage plant.

http://eyelicker.tumblr.com/

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Dani's Pokemon Years


As innocent as this song sounds, I suspect that "microphone", may be a euphomism for something far more unbecomming.

For a while I've faced disbelief/adversity for wanteing to eff Dani over the other 2 Millionaires, with her gigantic forehead and lack of the valuable Japanese geneology that the other 2 so proudly posess.

And indeed, while she she may posess that effable "four finger forehead", and husky tomboyish voice, which is especially bonerworthy whenever she uses the word "boyyyyyyyy", it's hard to keep up the feelin' when pictures like this exist:

It's always horrifying when you see a chick you crush on looking like some kind of bizarre chubby frog thing, staring into a webcam with an expression that can only be described as "chommer"

However, I guess we all have bad days/photos, and my faith is always restored on returning to her final fantasy/pokemon days:


Wish she still looked like this. Sucks how chicks always seem to go through many different "phases", of scene, before "growing up", and ultimately becomming boring/mainstream. I guess this is further evidence of me being some kind of (still pretty young, I think the Millionaires are older than me?) manchild, who just needs to "grow the fuck up". Still, if enough people stay as pokemon, then maybe, less will become boring no fun club hipsters when they hit 21, and be more down to get crunk and non ironically blast FTSKs and Amy Can Flyy while downing jagerbombs, instead of sipping cider while discussing films and their ill informed feeble grasp on politics.


Sunday, May 09, 2010

Hilarious Scene Face of the week

Mark: This Romantic Tragedy


As Sargent D once said, sometimes scene hair = putting lipstick on a pig

Friday, April 23, 2010

I like them rich girls....



My past week and a half has actually been that song, thanks to the lovely (and loaded) yeahyouknowit from the SYWH fam, and her bank account, who decided to hop over to Manchester last thurday. This was her fucking hotel room!

That TV was the bomb, luckily I had my Aliens DVD on me for some reason, so I could stay up all night loudly reciting "They mostly come at night....mostly...." and "They're in the vents!!!!" preventing YYKI and most likely everyone else on the penthouse floor from sleeping till 3 am.

The next night, friday, my stangry friend Nevchrist came and chilled up, and we were gonna see Millionaires, but instead stayed in drinking jager way too late, missing the show and instead buggering off to Satan's which now lets us back in.

Saturday we saw brokeNCYDE and Jeffree Star in London, laughed at tube stops, and got further crunk. Also, it was disturbing to stand infront of a waddle of fat tween girls screaming at the top of their lungs "FUCK ME, IM A CELEBRITY". No thanks......


Shame that she had to go back, cos the power of me, her and nev was a scene force to behold! I knew she got some jelous looks from many of the regular scene bitches, who are no doubt glad she has gone home ;)

Anyway, life is normal and boring and sucks again, untill the summer, when hopefully going to the Warped tour with the rest of the SYWH fam! Bitches!

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

I Still buy CDs.......








I think Americans are beginning to respect British people slightly more. Cheers to bros like Jason Statham, The SAS in Call of Duty, and the "Psycho" bro in Crysis, we seem to be being portrayed less and less as either cowardly villans, ppl who die, or hugh grant, and more as criminals or the SAS.


Think I'm gonna miss always being the villan

As we all know, criminals and the Army = Respect

H8 my parents right now for being baby boomers and fucking up the housing market, the economy, secondary education, wellfare and a ton of other things which means life's gonna be mega hard + mega debtful + dick high houseprices + dick high taxes to pay for the pensions of the same generation that fucked everything up so much, so they can keep living it up and blowing our inheritance. Fuck this, after uni I'm pissing off to America.

Magoo the Masturbating dog remains the best thing in Cinema for decades...


Wormrot is a fucking awesome band.
I really wana check them out in some filthy bar in Singapore sometime, if I'm ever there. One of my bff's is Singaporean too, and said I can totally crash his whenevs.

Is it just me, or are scenebros getting more and more inbred hick looking/acting. JT Lloyd, DDC, and following T Mills on twitter is pretty much just an hourly reminder that he smokes dope. I heard you the first time bro. Guess I felt pretty baddass and wanted everyone to know too...when I was like 14. Then again, Americans have always seemed rather "all show and no go" when it comes to drugs and alcohol. Prolly your 21 drinking age which makes you such exhibitionists. #shutupandtakeit. Coke remains the naffest drug going, followed by Methadrone which Hipsters in Manchester seem to have swept up as the wallet friendly coke alternative. Weed clocks in at 3rd, thanks to T Mill's fucking Twitter.

It's the goddamn cutest thing ever when a girl turns you down. Its kina customary to get pissy as hell when this happens, loose all your dignity, and go write awesome deathcore songs. You look like a fucking tool and loose major cred though, chill bro. Most of the time, even if they think they are, they arn't serious about it (within reason, if she starts screaming or running away you should probably let that shit go). MB its like a test or something, whevs. So many awesome memories of chicks trying to "put their foot down" and be serious by turning their face or pushing me away, trying not to smile. Kina sucks to get with someone with zero effort in a way (via "T-Rex wants to hunt, not be fed" #JurrasicParkQuotes). Mb thats why I used to dig chasing girls with boyfriends so much. "No" is a fucking cute word, trumped only by "But I have a boyfriend...". Anyways, a cute as fuck scene balloon recently decided I was the best thing since internet porn, so I'm more than happy to let all that shit go (via srs relationship).

Have done fuck all over the past week but spend 90% of the time procrastinating and playing video games, and the rest studying. I think tomorrow I will diagnose myself with ADD. Fuck.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Brotiems

Bro moments are the fucking best. Getting stoned and/or drunk (coke is for naff hipsters anyways, all you need is alcohol, weed, and maybe E), playing video games, talking about chicks & music...A good bro time is better than like, 40-60% of all the fucks ever.


Had a few decent bro moments recently, maybe being in a relationship make you appriciate that shit more, whevs. Had my birthday/easter bbq last fri, got waaay stoned and passed out in a bed w/ a bro after listening to Forever the Sickest Kids all night. Decided to make a band.

Saying "lets make a band" is some advanced brodom, even if you never actually do it, or even ever fully intended to. Like saying, I would be happy having you accompany me in a music journey + attracting tons of scene poon together.

Violence is bro

Here is me getting punched by Nev, he has a killer punch, he could probably deck most people.



Punching each other and other forms of jackass type fooling around are a sign of advanced bro-status.

As is getting locked in a small toilet together looking after a severly over-crunk bro



Getting naked in band practices and play raping each other is pretty bro.

Not sure how this happened.....

I went to an all boys school, and remember the "play-bummings" well. It was always the most hetero guys who got with the most chicks who did it too, all the dudes who actually turned out to be gay never joined in. One of my friends was once getting bulled so shouted out "Stop it, you're giving me an erection!". Actually, guess thats why the gay dudes never play raped anyone.....

Back in Lancaster for Easter, tryna study moar + finish the last bits of the deathcore/metal EP I'm making w/ Nev when not getting punched. Probably spending too much time playing video games, considering my next rig upgrade, or laughing at dogs. Whevs.