Friday, January 08, 2010

New year and Classifying the hxc pit

New year and did y'all make any keut new resolutions? I cba'd with all that, but I did rather spontaneously shave my head for jokes on New Years Day. No real reason, guess I was kind of bored with hair. Anyway, now I've pretty much tried every single length of hair within the scope of being an alt post-adolescent male. Yet to gauge a social reaction yet, due to it being exam period once again, and I'm shut in being lonely. Although this does mean I'll prolly post more, after my half month hiatus, in which I was chillin' with family/friends/small dogs, and doin' stuff for Reverse Current. Tryna get in "the zone" where I do nothing but study like a motherfucker, although somewhat fucked that up last night by hanging out with some friends in my frount room and lighting a swell fire, reflecting on life and being "deep". Shits also gone totally south with my London chick atm, so at least I won't have that distracting me now. Hopefully this year I'll find some fresh new maltstream chick to go retarded over. Yeah, that's my new years resolution. Go malt-tarded again.

Anyhow, due to having a wide neck, I now resemble a thumb, and actually look quite genuinely like serious business with my new found lack of hair. I imagine that my public perception will go from the "chill fun crunk dude", due to my old blonde streaked fringecut:

To threatening creepy deathmetal skinhead dude:

Due to the general incompatibility of screamo crunk and being a "skin", I imagine most people will now downplay that side of me, and probably socially re-employ me as token tough grimy guy.

Another reason I haven't blogged for a while is that nothing really seems that interesting anymore in the "scene". Shits got all stagnated and everything remains pretty done before and embarrassingly lacking in self awareness. Technical shits got too nerdy and boring, Deathcores too slow and not technical enough, and Screamo Crunks kina going to shit [via getting too popular and becoming a "parody of itself"]. I guess I'm just sitting tight until the world gets hit by
"deathcore 2.0", or alternatively "crunkcore 2.0". Due to the helical nature of subculture I imagine there could be a massive resurgence of something resembling "true" metal attitude more closely, but hey, who knows, till them I'm gonna get out and jam Rap again (no more annoying white kids).

Emmure came to Manchester recently, which led to a wonderful gathering of post entry level hxc wiggers, and people having aggressive conversations almost always culminating in " shouldn't have been in the pit then if...". I was overjoyed when a friend (some entry level chick there for Caliban), said that they were like everything I am in band form, a great compliment seeing as I'm not even from Connecticut! Also noticed several subclasses in hardcore dancer while I was there.

Most amusing was the "Tank", a ginormous fat dude who stands in the middle like an island and moves his arms round in a roughly 1/8 speed windmill. Due to his size and general air, others generally avoid him, giving him ample girth in the middle to complete his curious slow rotations. I imagine that if you were hit by one of those things it would be an experience akin to having your car slowly barged by a large truck.

He's calm now, but at some point tonight when Samantha and Miranda stop distracting him, he'll start swinging, and when he does, fucking move!

Next we have the "default" option, the generic mosh warrior. A veteran of many shows, he does it all, even the surprisingly high kicks. He even thinks he's invented a few moves, and probably practices at home every morning. Usually instigates shit, which is always helpful, and approaches the hall with his crew and an attitute to "tear shit up"! They also seem to often curiously enter pits with a backpack, which seems silly if it contains anything. The aggressive ones pause to gauge your reaction if they hit you, and if you make any move to react, will square off to you, and a situation culminating in the familiar " shouldn't have been in the pit then if...", will ensue.

Here some fledgeling warriors giving up some valuable secrets of the trade. Keep it up boys!

The "fgt" generally waits at the side like a pleb, and being too small/intimidated/female, usually isn't really sure what to do, so generally makes a few awkward movements and draws attention with their embarrassing self awareness. Doesn't do much if you hit them, other than retreating slightly back into their tight knit knot of small kids huddled at the side. May gain confidence if the energy level dwindles, and maybe even transcend the group.

Occasionally, a fgt will think "fuck this shit" and fucking let rip with the rest, becoming a nublet. Essentially cannon fodder that gets decked by the warriors, but still has fun and comes out feeling tough and full of relevance and self worth. If they keep it up they may even transcend the ranks from fgt - nublet - warrior, and them later maybe even tank if they eat enough.

So yeah, thems your main 4.

A hapless Indian tries to swim away as he is dragged under a tank: A warning of what happens if you get too close.

1 comment:

yeahyouknowit said...

LOLfactory.. This post was awesome. I'm always fascinated by the bros that make up a solid pit.. Like, crunk pits, hxc pits, sxe pits -- the shows are all so different, yet still have the same types of fuckers tearing it up in the center.

You should def post a pic of your new haircut -- I've never met a scene dude sans carefully groomed locks and I'm curious if it sort of disjoints ur look. Although with a new era, one can never go wrong. A++