Thursday, June 04, 2009


Look at the cat, look at the poor little bugger. The past few days/weeks I've found nothing that better sums up my current damn situation.

For one, I'm not gonna be seeing Killswitch Engage at all this summer. This may seem trivial, but its become something of a sentimental tradition. Also there is no way I'm gonna be able to afford to go to Helsinki for Tuska festival this year, despite having accreditation, no Tuska festival....fuck! I know the line up sucks this year, despite the Faceless and the Black Dahlia Murder, but its just as much about chilling out in Helsinki, with Samuli, my skinny blonde Finnish sickfuck with the unbelievably hot girlfriend, listening to how proud he is of the recent spree of school shootings there, or just fucking shit up with all my awesome Finnish friends.

yeah...everything they say about Scandinavia and black metal is's not a show

Also, i made friends with this hot Finnish chick with fucking HUUUge boobs last time i was there, so missing out on the chance to feel those has also got me kina strung. In fact, all I have to look forward to when these exams are over is tryna get a shit menial job, to pay off huge debts. Fuck...that ain't no motivation. On top of that, I have zero money, so the last couple of weeks of exams will be rather uncomfortable (no more relentless energy drinks), and i wont even be able to get drunk and stoned when it's over. Middle class student life doesn't get much more grim than this. All I really want to do this summer is go home, chill with my brother and some dudes back home over Unreal Tournament and some beer, and occasionally hit a club, but i'll probably have to stay alone in Manchester. But hey, this shit has to be done right? I guess I'm just annoyed that this is my first summer working, not traveling, in a while. And on top of that shit, my finals, which I've probably scraped though at best, thanks probably to the lack of motivation of a shit summer, that will most likely be spent doing door to door charity work, until I find something less humiliating.

I realize how self pitying this shit is, but fuck it, sometimes people need ill placed self pity, and the internet seems like the best deposit.

Summer is most likely gonna suck, and with the Exams probably going to be a huge foxtrot, i can't see the optimism.

So, to cheer myself up, whats been cool recently?


1. New Devourment album
.....fucking sweet as shit, check one of the songs on the player, I swear some of the slams in that thing made my dick move. Glad they can still sock it!

There is hope, in a post-swine flu world

Also, having found this picture of Mike Majewski has further strengthened my position that deep pigsqueals and being pitlessly Misogynistic will get you laid like no ones buisness!

Levels of awesome most wigger slam affectionados can only dream of

2. New video from brokeNCYDE

"Shake it like some chocolate milk" - need i say more

Despite having run out of money now, and most likely I will be having a very rationed existence soon enough, I still don't regret pre ordering their album. Although when i wanted to actually buy some chocolate milk, the lack of money was a harsh, yet ironic wake up call. (wouldn't want to buy the chocolate milk without them, but because of them, can't afford it :( )

i mean fuck...."baby girl i've seen your photos on myspace", that's genious. Warped and vulgar, but pretty damn relateable.

3. Wacken

At least ill be able to afford Wacken by then, and despite having pretty much zero bands i want to see, I don't give a shit, I'm gonna chill in the camping lots, get drunk, and have fun. Plus I can't wait to blast out brokeNCYDE to a campsite full of die hard hungover German Metal Elitists. Also a further hot chick with nice rack may be there, this time German, similar situation to the one above. This fest is pretty much the only thing I'm looking forward to right now. May even have enough to go to Finland afterwards, scoring twice the boobage.

I can only pray it'll be as awesome as last year - also, this is neither of the mentioned chicks, just another girl from Wacken last this photo doesn't do her justice

Well, I feel slightly better now...It maybe almost 6 in the fucking morning and i have an exam at 2....but fuck it, A summer of shit jobs might be tolerable in a world of Devourment, brokeNCYDE, and chesty European chicks.

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