Why the world hates us

After having irked off work for headbang this month because of exams, i did however write this short editorial. Even though it's still not as good/creative/original/funny as I hoped due to time and talent constraints, i still wapped it up, and may as well post it here. That's what blogs are meant to be for right?

Quite often, I find I have to put up with the incessant ballaching of some of my peers about how, “metal isn’t respected enough”, and how it is “dismissed as a lower art form”. In fact, as good idea of what I mean, just read the blurb to “Metal: A Headbangers Journey”, which I’m sure sits in a prominent place in all of your DVD collections, the special edition of course, next to those ubiquitous Family Guy boxsets. My first response, as always will be to show them this video. This hits twice as hard if they’re a Manowar fan, who are normally the types of douches to be asking this question in the first place.









Now, tell me, did your respect for the whole subculture just plummet massively? Cos if it didn’t, then you are this guy. Metal is, and always has been, extremely childish, ridiculous, and kina retarded, and your silly persecution syndrome does nothing to help. Although there doesn’t really seem to be any other form of popular music as technical, complicated and darn brutal, metal seems to have a kind of lack of self awareness that makes it so ripe to make fun of. This is how it’s gonna remain, until everyone stops taking everything so seriously, lightens the fuck up, and gets a whole lot more open minded, as well as stops listening to black metal.

No one finds you scary, they are just laughing at you, there is nothing less evil than guys wearing makeup. And learn how to EQ a damn guitar.

It also doesn’t help in the PR department, when you act like a complete dick to anyone with a taste in music that “isn’t metal”, especially in the kind of “you wouldn’t understand” method, favoured by Meshuggah fans the world over. When I was younger, I would tell people, more or less, that my music taste was superior to theirs, with a thinly veiled prose. Looking back, i was probably right some of the time, but I still shouldn’t have been such a little git about it, and neither should you. I still see people doing this all the time, and it does nothing but make the rest of the world respect us less.

Another positive step would be to embrace scene culture! Seriously, thanks to this new wave of people playing music which is (lets not split hairs) very similar to traditional death metal, there is now an influx of attractive girls into the metal community. You can now go to a metal show and instead of the usual one or two incredibly slutty metal chicks you normally see surrounded by ugly dudes, there’s now dozens of attractive chicks hanging out! We should welcome in this stream of attractive people with looked after hair, as they distance the image of metal from the socially awkward ugly geek dudes in trench coats. Instead we have to make a big deal about how much we hate scene kids, reject any metal band if a member has a “fringe”, and get confused over which bands we’re allowed to like or not, based of how big the “scene” following is. In fact, after a friend of mine was introduced to The Faceless, one of his first reactions was to say, “Am I allowed to like them”. The Faceless to this day remains one of those borderline bands, where metalheads get confused which side of the line they’re on. Consequently, for this irrational bigotry, the rest of the world hates us even more.

If you disagree with this, you are all kinds of gay

Finally, no matter what Turisas say, listening to metal doesn’t make you a Viking, Barbarian, or warrior of any sort. It was kina a cool theme at first, but now it’s a tad ridiculous frankly, and the rest of the world just laughs harder.

Not a warrior (also unsure weather a dude or a chick too)

So now go, listen to more than just metal, don’t just hang out with metalheads, and fuck scene chicks.